Humor

nitasmile · nitasmile

I couldn't determine where to post this. I thought about the other place. However, as I recenly shared a link to a thread over there w/some people in my real life ward, I didn't want to post this over there, since it is a current situation. Maybe you will think this is dumb, but it might be a fun way to create...

PollyAnna · PollyAnna

I get quite a few joke from my uncle... He is an amazing man who has spent his life in the service of others, both as an educator and in the church... Anyway, he has a great sense of humor and I love him dearly... Many times when he send me a joke I laugh for days about it. They are generally quite dry and are s...

salesortonscom · salesortonscom

Democratic National Convention Schedule for 2008 7:00 P.M. Opening flag burning. 7:15 P.M. Pledge of Allegiance to the United Nations. 7:30 PM. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast. 7:30 till 8:00 P.M. Nonreligious prayer and worship: Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton. 8:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy...

rayb · rayb

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end. - Jerry Seinfeld

historian · historian

found this and thought it was cute: As a young minister, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a graveside service for a homeless man, with no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there. As I was not familiar wi...

nitasmile · nitasmile

Here is a copy and paste I received today from a friend who wrote: " This is a story about Citibank customer service. I have it on good authority the following accurately reports the conversation. A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual s...

nitasmile · nitasmile

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070410/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_germany_army_baby

rayb · rayb

Was browsing random artists on deviantart and ran across this guy's gallery. He has a talent for manipulating animal photos that is very funny... Hope you enjoy. --Ray http://imamon.deviantart.com/gallery/

salesortonscom · salesortonscom

http://www.theonion.com:80/content/video/in_the_know_our_troops_in_iraq

fear of shiz · fear of shiz

"The quickest way to a man's heart is to tear a hole in his ribcage." "I like poetry, walks on the beach, and poking dead things with sticks." Feel free to add your own...

rayb · rayb

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/51569156/ I thought this was pretty funny... from an online artist I watch... --Ray

Mahonri · Mahonri

U.S. Senator Unhurt In Air Crash The Associated Press reports that New York junior Senator Hillary Clinton, narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting when she was forced to make an emergency landing in Southern New Jersey because of bad weather. National Tra...

rayb · rayb

Okay everyone has a favorite... Here's mine... don't ask me why? Q. What happened to the woman who backed into the propeller airplane engine? A. Disaster. (You have to say it slowly, if you don't get it... :) ) here's a clue --->

--Ray

Mahonri · Mahonri

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southerner?Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question:You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around...

rayb · rayb

I had this funny thought about Adam and Eve. It's no wonder that they ate the fruit, if they were as innocent as babes while in the Garden... cuz my baby son puts EVERYTHING in his mouth... --Ray

rayb · rayb

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D8NSMV9G0&show_article=1

fear of shiz · fear of shiz

Jesus dies but then lives again. Bruce Willis was a ghost all along. Norman had his dead mother in his basement. Private Ryan lives. Dorothy makes it back to Kansas. ET makes it home. Marty makes it back to 1985. Clarence gets his wings. James Bond gets the girl. Ray Kinsella plays catch with his dad. Ind...

rayb · rayb

Rather than use poo Crystals some people want you to use cocacola... but snopes has put the kabosh on this rumor... http://www.snopes.com/cokelore/porkworm.asp (Metaspoiler: make sure you read the end part, that's where the humor is...) --Ray

rayb · rayb

I've noticed an unusual amount of mirth coming from one particular post contributor that we call Jason. Yet nearly none of his contributions are filed here in this particular sub-forum. The Humor Forum would like to remind said Jason that all humor should be confined to this forum. You are in fla...

Mahonri · Mahonri

Farmer Brown is hoeing his garden to keep down the weeds. It is a beautiful day so he is enjoying the scene around him and not paying attention. Before he knows it he has missed a weed and cut Mrs. Carrot in half. There she is on the ground in two pieces... Beside herself. Farmer Brown is shocked, but Mr...

palmon · palmon

I received the following email: Are you missing a 710? Yesterday I was having some work done at the car Dealer. A blonde woman came in and asked for a Seven-hundred-ten. They all looked at each other, and the Mechanic asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?" She replied, "You know, the l...

bokbadok · bokbadok

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or he...

salesortonscom · salesortonscom

Top Ten Ways General Authorities Eat Reese's Peanut Butter Cups 10. Paul H. Dunn: "I remember back in WWII that I ate a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Back then, they were big enough to live on for a week. Being the only soldier to have survived the battle in my brigade, I really didn't know if I could eat it or n...

rayb · rayb

I just watched this movie for the first time. Despite the obvious antimilitary bent, I thought it was quite thought provoking and darkly funny. Any of you seen this movie? I understand it's a classic. --Ray

rayb · rayb

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.asp

Cat Herder · Cat Herder

This is a hoot! http://www.dontshootyoureyeout.com/ Give it a try. My best game, I got 82 richochets on one shoot two or three times in a row, I kid you not! You have to find just the right place to aim at.

Mahonri · Mahonri

If you are sitting next to someone who irritates you on a plane or train: 1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case. 2. Remove your laptop. 3. Turn it on. 4. Make sure the guy who won't leave you alone can see the screen. 5. Close your eyes and tilt your head up to the sky. 6. Then hit this link:...

bokbadok · bokbadok

The latest telephone poll taken by the office of the Governor of Texas asked whether people who live in Texas think illegal immigration is a serious problem. A. 35% of respondents answered: "Yes, it is a serious problem." B. 65% of respondents answered: "No es un problema serio.&qu...

rayb · rayb

http://www.wired.com/news/columns/0,72711-0.html?tw=wn_index_4

arbilad · arbilad

At last, a bumper sticker for both parties. FINALLY, someone has come out with a 100% bipartisan political bumper sticker. The hottest selling bumper sticker comes from New York state . . . . . "RUN HILLARY RUN" Democrats put it on the rear bumper. Republicans put it on the front bumper.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	the mystery in the Church parking lot (Preview) I couldn't determine where to post this. I thought about the other place. However, as I recenly shared a link to a thread over there w/some people in my real life ward, I didn't want to post this over there, since it is a current situation. Maybe you will think this is dumb, but it might be a fun way to create...	nitasmile	9	396	May 30, 2007 by Cat Herder
	A funny thing happened on the way to my email... (Preview) I get quite a few joke from my uncle... He is an amazing man who has spent his life in the service of others, both as an educator and in the church... Anyway, he has a great sense of humor and I love him dearly... Many times when he send me a joke I laugh for days about it. They are generally quite dry and are s...	PollyAnna	3	344	May 29, 2007 by salesortonscom
	Democratic National Convention Schedule for 2008 (Preview) Democratic National Convention Schedule for 2008 7:00 P.M. Opening flag burning. 7:15 P.M. Pledge of Allegiance to the United Nations. 7:30 PM. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast. 7:30 till 8:00 P.M. Nonreligious prayer and worship: Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton. 8:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy...	salesortonscom	2	370	May 26, 2007 by Cat Herder
	Funny Quotes... (Preview) Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end. - Jerry Seinfeld	rayb	27	616	May 24, 2007 by PollyAnna
	The young minister (Preview) found this and thought it was cute: As a young minister, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a graveside service for a homeless man, with no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there. As I was not familiar wi...	historian	1	320	May 23, 2007 by Cocobeem
	Citibank Customer Service (Preview) Here is a copy and paste I received today from a friend who wrote: " This is a story about Citibank customer service. I have it on good authority the following accurately reports the conversation. A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual s...	nitasmile	8	574	May 2, 2007 by Mahonri
	a 4 week old baby drafted into the German Army (Preview) http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070410/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_germany_army_baby	nitasmile	4	393	Apr 30, 2007 by salesortonscom
	animal mixups (Preview) Was browsing random artists on deviantart and ran across this guy's gallery. He has a talent for manipulating animal photos that is very funny... Hope you enjoy. --Ray http://imamon.deviantart.com/gallery/	rayb	0	322	Apr 18, 2007 by rayb
	Bush Reinstates Draft (Preview) http://www.theonion.com:80/content/video/in_the_know_our_troops_in_iraq	salesortonscom	9	393	Mar 31, 2007 by Euphrasie
	Great Bumper stickers (Preview) "The quickest way to a man's heart is to tear a hole in his ribcage." "I like poetry, walks on the beach, and poking dead things with sticks." Feel free to add your own...	fear of shiz	9	410	Mar 31, 2007 by Cat Herder
	My Leper Pony (Preview) http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/51569156/ I thought this was pretty funny... from an online artist I watch... --Ray	rayb	11	913	Mar 26, 2007 by rayb
	U. S. Senator Unhurt in Air Crash (Preview) U.S. Senator Unhurt In Air Crash The Associated Press reports that New York junior Senator Hillary Clinton, narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting when she was forced to make an emergency landing in Southern New Jersey because of bad weather. National Tra...	Mahonri	3	488	Mar 22, 2007 by Mahonri
	What's your favorite joke? (Preview) Okay everyone has a favorite... Here's mine... don't ask me why? Q. What happened to the woman who backed into the propeller airplane engine? A. Disaster. (You have to say it slowly, if you don't get it... :) ) here's a clue ---> --Ray	rayb	22	6316	Mar 21, 2007 by Cat Herder
	Democrat? Republican? or Southerner (Preview) Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southerner?Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question:You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around...	Mahonri	12	554	Mar 19, 2007 by Roper
	Adam and Eve (Preview) I had this funny thought about Adam and Eve. It's no wonder that they ate the fruit, if they were as innocent as babes while in the Garden... cuz my baby son puts EVERYTHING in his mouth... --Ray	rayb	1	404	Mar 16, 2007 by arbilad
	Terror Strikes... (Preview) http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D8NSMV9G0&show_article=1	rayb	3	339	Mar 15, 2007 by salesortonscom
	Spoilers (Preview) Jesus dies but then lives again. Bruce Willis was a ghost all along. Norman had his dead mother in his basement. Private Ryan lives. Dorothy makes it back to Kansas. ET makes it home. Marty makes it back to 1985. Clarence gets his wings. James Bond gets the girl. Ray Kinsella plays catch with his dad. Ind...	fear of shiz	6	426	Mar 13, 2007 by Cat Herder
	New use for cocacola (Preview) Rather than use poo Crystals some people want you to use cocacola... but snopes has put the kabosh on this rumor... http://www.snopes.com/cokelore/porkworm.asp (Metaspoiler: make sure you read the end part, that's where the humor is...) --Ray	rayb	4	389	Mar 8, 2007 by Euphrasie
	Mirth Patrol (Preview) I've noticed an unusual amount of mirth coming from one particular post contributor that we call Jason. Yet nearly none of his contributions are filed here in this particular sub-forum. The Humor Forum would like to remind said Jason that all humor should be confined to this forum. You are in fla...	rayb	15	466	Mar 8, 2007 by salesortonscom
	Gardening (Preview) Farmer Brown is hoeing his garden to keep down the weeds. It is a beautiful day so he is enjoying the scene around him and not paying attention. Before he knows it he has missed a weed and cut Mrs. Carrot in half. There she is on the ground in two pieces... Beside herself. Farmer Brown is shocked, but Mr...	Mahonri	2	299	Mar 7, 2007 by glumirk
	Missing 710 (Preview) I received the following email: Are you missing a 710? Yesterday I was having some work done at the car Dealer. A blonde woman came in and asked for a Seven-hundred-ten. They all looked at each other, and the Mechanic asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?" She replied, "You know, the l...	palmon	5	408	Mar 6, 2007 by Mahonri
	Bathtub Test (Preview) During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or he...	bokbadok	3	334	Mar 5, 2007 by rayb
	How General Authorities Eat Peanut Butter Cups (Preview) Top Ten Ways General Authorities Eat Reese's Peanut Butter Cups 10. Paul H. Dunn: "I remember back in WWII that I ate a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Back then, they were big enough to live on for a week. Being the only soldier to have survived the battle in my brigade, I really didn't know if I could eat it or n...	salesortonscom	7	2705	Mar 2, 2007 by Euphrasie
	Dr. Strangelove (Preview) I just watched this movie for the first time. Despite the obvious antimilitary bent, I thought it was quite thought provoking and darkly funny. Any of you seen this movie? I understand it's a classic. --Ray	rayb	7	402	Mar 2, 2007 by salesortonscom
	Dungeons and Dragons is evil... (Preview) http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.asp	rayb	23	548	Mar 2, 2007 by bokbadok
	You'll shoot your eye out! (Preview) This is a hoot! http://www.dontshootyoureyeout.com/ Give it a try. My best game, I got 82 richochets on one shoot two or three times in a row, I kid you not! You have to find just the right place to aim at.	Cat Herder	3	381	Mar 1, 2007 by salesortonscom
	Contemplating a plane trip? (Preview) If you are sitting next to someone who irritates you on a plane or train: 1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case. 2. Remove your laptop. 3. Turn it on. 4. Make sure the guy who won't leave you alone can see the screen. 5. Close your eyes and tilt your head up to the sky. 6. Then hit this link:...	Mahonri	6	390	Feb 22, 2007 by rayb
	Texas Poll (Preview) The latest telephone poll taken by the office of the Governor of Texas asked whether people who live in Texas think illegal immigration is a serious problem. A. 35% of respondents answered: "Yes, it is a serious problem." B. 65% of respondents answered: "No es un problema serio.&qu...	bokbadok	10	449	Feb 17, 2007 by Mahonri
	An organization you should join... (Preview) http://www.wired.com/news/columns/0,72711-0.html?tw=wn_index_4	rayb	2	368	Feb 16, 2007 by Cat Herder
	Hillary bumper sticker (Preview) At last, a bumper sticker for both parties. FINALLY, someone has come out with a 100% bipartisan political bumper sticker. The hottest selling bumper sticker comes from New York state . . . . . "RUN HILLARY RUN" Democrats put it on the rear bumper. Republicans put it on the front bumper.	arbilad	2	351	Feb 8, 2007 by bokbadok
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