Humor

historian · historian

TYPE IN a command under the dogand see what happens... Sit, roll over, down, stand, sing, dance, shake, fetch, play dead, beg, etc., and...It's also very cute if you type in a command that's not recognized...!! Make sure you type in 'Kiss',too, but do it last!!! http://www.idodogtricks.com/index...

DoubleD · DoubleD

The Mormons Meet the Metro Narcotics Unit By Daryl Zadok Budd - Clearfield, Utah The Elders Quorum President and I were visiting some lost souls, when they were found by the long arm of the law. As we were preparing to say the closing prayer at the conclusion of our visit we heard someone poundin...

historian · historian

A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication. She got back to the car and found that she had locked her keys in the car. She didn't know what to do so she called home and told the babysitter wh...

historian · historian

For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park. Judge...3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Hartfor...

Jen · Jen

I can't remember if this has been posted here before. An oldie but goodie.

arbilad · arbilad

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029 Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexif ornia's third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens north...

arbilad · arbilad

U.S. Presidential candidate John McCain says that recent changes in his campaign staff are "A natural evolution." He should take a tip from his conservative base and consider intelligent design. Let's celebrate the last Independence Day under Bush/Cheney by listening to strangers'...

historian · historian

Catherine - (one of my daughters friends when she was little) told me that she wanted to be President one day. Both of her parents, liberal democrats, were standing there with us - and I asked Catherine - "If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?" Catherine replied - &...

historian · historian

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historian · historian

Actual radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations,10-10-95. #1: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. #2: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to South to avoid a collision. #1: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR co...

historian · historian

(copied from another forum) Last week while traveling I stopped at a Zany Brainy store and saw that they had a blimp for sale. It's called Airship Earth, and it's a great big balloon with a map of the Earth on it, and two propellers hanging from the bottom. You blow up the balloon with helium, put batterie...

historian · historian

A state trooper sees a car puttering along at 22 mph. He thinks to himself, "this driver is as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five elderly ladies - two in the front seat and three in the back, wide-eyed...

Dyany · Dyany

by Robert Kirby - Salt Lake Tribune Most Sunday mornings, you'll find me on a pew in the Rosecrest 1st Ward chapel. It's where I'm supposed to go to church. Lucky for me, it's also where I want to go. Technically, Mormons don't have a choice. For church, we're bound by the geography of the ward. We wor...

mirkwood · mirkwood

She just can't wait to share it with everyone!!!

Cat Herder · Cat Herder

This is all totally tongue-in-cheek parody (inspired by Arbi's comment quoted), and nothing more than an attempt at getting people to laugh and lighten up... All responses need to be made using lyrics from pop / rock songs (think one of those games played on "Whose Line Is It Anyway?").....

NRA · NRA

"So tell me, Mrs. Smith," asked the interviewer, "have you any other skills you think might be worth mentioning?" "Actually, yes," said the applicant modestly. "Last year I had two short stories published in national magazines, and I finished my first nove...

PollyAnna · PollyAnna

raybeeeeee... ETA one that I missed... -- Edited by PollyAnna at 01:39, 2007-10-07

hiccups · hiccups

http://www.gunbroker.com/Auction/ViewItem.asp?Item=97918796

hiccups · hiccups

I hijacked this from a distant cousin's blog for your reading enjoyment: I was checking Colten in to school late and as we walked into the school we saw Jacksons class playing on the playground. We watched them play for a few minutes and low and behold Jackson and the girl whos name I wont say ran across t...

Jen · Jen

I love jokes about old men. I love old men. This one, my sister-in-law sent me this morning (the joke, not the old man): Three elderly gentlemen are walking through the park on a blustery day. One says, "Windy, isn't it?" The second says, "No, it's Thursday." The third says, &...

hiccups · hiccups

http://www.dvorak.org/blog/?p=1335 (p.s. If you scroll down far enough in the comment section, there is some naughty word usage. You've been warned.) -- Edited by hiccups at 22:17, 2008-04-21

beefche · beefche

This was sent to me by my redneck brother. Too funny! Artery The study of paintings. Bacteria Back door to cafeteria BariumWhat doctors do when patients die. Benign What you be after you be eight. Catscan Searching for Kitty. Cauterize Made eye contact with her. Cesarean Section A neighborhood in R...

Dyany · Dyany

Ninjormon

historian · historian

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries wit...

arbilad · arbilad

These are sidewalk drawings that look remarkably 3 dimensional.

historian · historian

One of the most played songs at weddings these day's is Pachelbel's Canon in D. I found this video on YouTube by Rob Paravonian. It is too funny! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdxkVQy7QLM

historian · historian

Have you ever told a white lie? You are going to love this, especially all of those who bake for church events. Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church Ladies' Group in Tuscaloosa, but forgot to do it until the last minute. She remembered the morning of the bake sale and after rummaging thr...

Jen · Jen

In his sleevie!

historian · historian

From the 1995 first quarterly edition of the "Tax Bar Journal" (from an actual trial transcript): The Court: Next witness. Ms. Olschner: Your honor, at this time, I would like to swat Mr. Buck in the head with his client's deposition. The Court: You mean read it? Ms. Olschn...

rayb · rayb

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=EBM854BTGL0] In case you needed a summary of the film, here's an explanation from some girl who's in the know. --Ray

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Dog tricks (Preview) TYPE IN a command under the dogand see what happens... Sit, roll over, down, stand, sing, dance, shake, fetch, play dead, beg, etc., and...It's also very cute if you type in a command that's not recognized...!! Make sure you type in 'Kiss',too, but do it last!!! http://www.idodogtricks.com/index...	historian	2	615	Aug 28, 2008 by beefche
	For Mirk (Preview) The Mormons Meet the Metro Narcotics Unit By Daryl Zadok Budd - Clearfield, Utah The Elders Quorum President and I were visiting some lost souls, when they were found by the long arm of the law. As we were preparing to say the closing prayer at the conclusion of our visit we heard someone poundin...	DoubleD	1	537	Aug 27, 2008 by mirkwood
	Being thankful (Preview) A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication. She got back to the car and found that she had locked her keys in the car. She didn't know what to do so she called home and told the babysitter wh...	historian	1	516	Aug 22, 2008 by LoudmouthMormon
	chili cookoff - gross, but funny (Preview) For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park. Judge...3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Hartfor...	historian	0	550	Aug 22, 2008 by historian
	Coal! Answer to the energy crisis! (Preview) I can't remember if this has been posted here before. An oldie but goodie.	Jen	1	519	Aug 6, 2008 by Cocobeem
	Headlines from 2029 (Preview) *HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029* *Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia,* *formerly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexif ornia's third language.* *Spotted Owl plague threatens north...*	arbilad	0	486	Aug 4, 2008 by arbilad
	Jokes from netfunny.com (Preview) U.S. Presidential candidate John McCain says that recent changes in his campaign staff are "A natural evolution." He should take a tip from his conservative base and consider intelligent design. Let's celebrate the last Independence Day under Bush/Cheney by listening to strangers'...	arbilad	0	508	Jul 17, 2008 by arbilad
	How to infuriate liberal friends (Preview) Catherine - (one of my daughters friends when she was little) told me that she wanted to be President one day. Both of her parents, liberal democrats, were standing there with us - and I asked Catherine - "If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?" Catherine replied - &...	historian	3	565	Jul 9, 2008 by arbilad
	Word Humor (Preview) -----------------------------------------------------	historian	2	524	Jul 3, 2008 by historian
	The Navy (Preview) Actual radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations,10-10-95. #1: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. #2: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to South to avoid a collision. #1: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR co...	historian	1	509	Jul 2, 2008 by historian
	The blimp (Preview) (copied from another forum) Last week while traveling I stopped at a Zany Brainy store and saw that they had a blimp for sale. It's called Airship Earth, and it's a great big balloon with a map of the Earth on it, and two propellers hanging from the bottom. You blow up the balloon with helium, put batterie...	historian	9	582	Jun 24, 2008 by hiccups
	speed limit (Preview) A state trooper sees a car puttering along at 22 mph. He thinks to himself, "this driver is as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five elderly ladies - two in the front seat and three in the back, wide-eyed...	historian	1	515	Jun 24, 2008 by hiccups
	Specialty Wards (Preview) by Robert Kirby - Salt Lake Tribune Most Sunday mornings, you'll find me on a pew in the Rosecrest 1st Ward chapel. It's where I'm supposed to go to church. Lucky for me, it's also where I want to go. Technically, Mormons don't have a choice. For church, we're bound by the geography of the ward. We wor...	Dyany	3	535	Jun 22, 2008 by nitasmile
	HICCUPS HAS EXCITING NEWS EVERYONE!!!! (Preview) She just can't wait to share it with everyone!!!	mirkwood	39	1401	Jun 13, 2008 by Jen
	HUMOR Game -- Whose Line Is It Anyway ( First … Last » ) neverending (Preview) This is all totally tongue-in-cheek parody (inspired by Arbi's comment quoted), and nothing more than an attempt at getting people to laugh and lighten up... All responses need to be made using lyrics from pop / rock songs (think one of those games played on "Whose Line Is It Anyway?").....	Cat Herder	808	20306	Jun 3, 2008 by hiccups
	Office Skills (Preview) "So tell me, Mrs. Smith," asked the interviewer, "have you any other skills you think might be worth mentioning?" "Actually, yes," said the applicant modestly. "Last year I had two short stories published in national magazines, and I finished my first nove...	NRA	9	547	Jun 3, 2008 by NRA
	a new avatar for.... ( 1 2 ) (Preview) raybeeeeee... ETA one that I missed... -- Edited by PollyAnna at 01:39, 2007-10-07	PollyAnna	58	2115	May 30, 2008 by hiccups
	Buy a piece of history! (Preview) http://www.gunbroker.com/Auction/ViewItem.asp?Item=97918796	hiccups	1	595	Apr 28, 2008 by arbilad
	parenting skillz (Preview) I hijacked this from a distant cousin's blog for your reading enjoyment: I was checking Colten in to school late and as we walked into the school we saw Jacksons class playing on the playground. We watched them play for a few minutes and low and behold Jackson and the girl whos name I wont say ran across t...	hiccups	1	508	Apr 26, 2008 by Cocobeem
	Old man joke (Preview) I love jokes about old men. I love old men. This one, my sister-in-law sent me this morning (the joke, not the old man): Three elderly gentlemen are walking through the park on a blustery day. One says, "Windy, isn't it?" The second says, "No, it's Thursday." The third says, &...	Jen	1	513	Apr 23, 2008 by Cocobeem
	In a real hurry... (Preview) http://www.dvorak.org/blog/?p=1335 (p.s. If you scroll down far enough in the comment section, there is some naughty word usage. You've been warned.) -- Edited by hiccups at 22:17, 2008-04-21	hiccups	4	649	Apr 23, 2008 by hiccups
	Redneck medical terms (Preview) This was sent to me by my redneck brother. Too funny! Artery The study of paintings. Bacteria Back door to cafeteria BariumWhat doctors do when patients die. Benign What you be after you be eight. Catscan Searching for Kitty. Cauterize Made eye contact with her. Cesarean Section A neighborhood in R...	beefche	3	526	Apr 19, 2008 by bokbadok
	Ask a (Preview) Ninjormon	Dyany	1	578	Apr 18, 2008 by hiccups
	20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity (Preview) 20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries wit...	historian	8	596	Apr 18, 2008 by beefche
	Sidewalk Art (Preview) These are sidewalk drawings that look remarkably 3 dimensional.	arbilad	2	519	Apr 10, 2008 by Cocobeem
	Pachelbel's Canon in D (Preview) One of the most played songs at weddings these day's is Pachelbel's Canon in D. I found this video on YouTube by Rob Paravonian. It is too funny! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdxkVQy7QLM	historian	3	676	Apr 9, 2008 by Jen
	white lie cake (Preview) Have you ever told a white lie? You are going to love this, especially all of those who bake for church events. Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church Ladies' Group in Tuscaloosa, but forgot to do it until the last minute. She remembered the morning of the bake sale and after rummaging thr...	historian	3	528	Apr 3, 2008 by Cocobeem
	Where does the general keep his army? (Preview) In his sleevie!	Jen	5	589	Mar 31, 2008 by Cocobeem
	why lawyers should pay attention in the courtroom (Preview) From the 1995 first quarterly edition of the "Tax Bar Journal" (from an actual trial transcript): The Court: Next witness. Ms. Olschner: Your honor, at this time, I would like to swat Mr. Buck in the head with his client's deposition. The Court: You mean read it? Ms. Olschn...	historian	4	569	Mar 24, 2008 by Cocobeem
	Star Wars explained... (Preview) [youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=EBM854BTGL0] In case you needed a summary of the film, here's an explanation from some girl who's in the know. --Ray	rayb	0	522	Mar 18, 2008 by rayb
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