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Post Info TOPIC: 20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity


Senior Member

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20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity


20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it 'In'.

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Sexual Favors' .

7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling
'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity ..

Send This To Someone To Make Them Smile.

Its Called .. therapy.


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Keeper of the Holy Grail

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My daughter actually did #10 when we were in a drive-thru once. An "extra medium" one at that. rolleyes

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Life is tough but it's tougher if you're stupid.  -John Wayne



Hot Air Balloon

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Hehe... I'm gonna hafta use that...
"Can I get an Extra-medium diet water?" :)

Of course nowadays with vitamin water and the bottled waters they sell at most places, you'd probably have to pay something for the joke... and they wouldn't get it.

--Ray


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(Don't take it personally, everyone finds me offensive. Yet somehow I manage to live with myself.)


Senior Bucketkeeper

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Hee hee... very funny. Although #1 and #18 gave me pause - could you get in legal trouble for those?

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"My Karma Ran Over My Dogma"
Jen


Senior Bucketkeeper

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I will not be writing "For sexual favors" on my tithing check.

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"There is order in the way the Lord reveals His will to mankind. . .we cannot receive revelation for someone else's stewardship." L. Tom Perry


Future Queen in Zion

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rofl.gif

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"The promptings of the Holy Ghost will always be sufficient for our needs if we keep to the covenant path. Our path is uphill most days, but the help we receive for the climb is literally divine." --Elaine S. Dalton



Profuse Pontificator

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What does it mean if you already do some of those things and a couple are done on a regular basis?????

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"Heck" is for people who don't believe in "Gosh."


Future Queen in Zion

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I'd say that depends on which ones biggrin.gif

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"The promptings of the Holy Ghost will always be sufficient for our needs if we keep to the covenant path. Our path is uphill most days, but the help we receive for the climb is literally divine." --Elaine S. Dalton



Profuse Pontificator

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I ain't tell' nothin'!  disbelief.gif

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It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

"Heck" is for people who don't believe in "Gosh."
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