So glad to know you aren't leaving!

Yeah! I'm glad you are here. Since you mentionned the broadcast, the line that meant the most to me was Pres HInckley and how he said the world would be such a better place if everyone were treated as well as he is. We are oft told to treat others the way we would treat the Savior. President Hinckley's comment made me think of areas of life where I get frustrated and how I need to improve.

One of the remarks I heard at the Devotional and also that came up a couple times in our testimony meeting was to use this Christmas season to get rid of grudges and heal wounds/hearts. For me, there have been a couple local friends (one female, one male) who have unknowingly deeply hurt me. In both cases, I had done things to show friendship support to these people and
basically felt the people no longer wanted to be my friend. So this hurt. However, today I was able to get a glimpse of why it is the way it is, and this helped wipe away the hurt though some of the hurt remains.

I do like Bountiful and though I'm more of a lurker than a participant, I did feel sad to read about all that transpired. Hope it will continue on well. To borrow a line I have on the welcome page of an online yahoogroup that I moderate, I hope we can all post the way we would if the Savior were a member of this online community.

Cat, for many reasons, I am glad you are staying. 

However, I invite you to re-read the 2nd paragraph in your post.  Not as the writer, but as someone who may have experienced contention with you in the past.  Do you FEEL forgiveness?  I never picked any bones with you and yet I do not feel the forgiveness you espouse.  Contention is a two-way street, my brother, yet I felt no regrets in your post, only censure and self-justification. 

I typically stay out of contentions.  However, as a sideline observer, I know many people who feel they cannot post openly on this forum because of bias and contention and the fear of being unilaterally jumped on.  I know you have felt this way.  But I know others who have felt this way too -- many have felt much danger from YOUR censure.  Some have been so hurt by your comments that they rarely post anymore.  So please, please, do not simply come back  glorying in the beggings for you to stay, eager to offer forgiveness that does not feel like forgiveness to those offended.  Please, come back with your humility, with some remorse for what has transpired, with love for those who want you back even though you (like the rest of us) are imperfect, knowing that we are all brethren and sisters and equal in the eyes of the Lord.  It wouldn't be a bad thing to apologize. 

Am I correct to interpret that some of you feel I am somehow to blame for what went on here the week of Thanksgiving? INCREDIBLE!

Who of all these individuals who have taken or created offense has had the maturity to approach me directly about it specifically instead of talking about me behind my back to others and then others just saying things like "Some have been so hurt by your comments that they rarely post anymore"?

Danger from my censure? Right. What are / were people really afraid of? Did I ever, ever once summarily edit or delete anyone's post when I was moderator? Did I ever go talking behind anyone's back outside of mentioning my concerns about things or individuals to the body of forum staff? Where are all the PM's of my alleged bullying people privately? Others are free to say what they want, the way they feel inclined to, but if I do, that is somehow wrong because it is uncomfortable to some. That doesn't quite seem fair.

I bet most of you didn't know that a moderator does not know anything more about an individual who is a member of this forum than what is shown on a member's profile. In other words, unless you had given me your e-mail address, the only way I even had available to me to communicate with you was via forum posts / chatbox and/or PM's, and I feel the PM system is counterintuitive to being open and honest in our communication.

You know folks, maybe the reason forgiveness doesn't feel like forgiveness to you is because maybe you don't feel you have merited it, that maybe inside you acknowledge you still have something to change yourself. Would you so callously reject The Savior's forgiveness if He forgave you of something? I didn't put any conditions on my forgiving anyone. And I still don't.

I really can't figure out why some of you want to continue making me a villian. A good look in the mirror would be in order before any of you start pointing the finger at me again.

I say we are all grown ups here. Let's move on already.

coolcucumbers wrote:

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I say we are all grown ups here. Let's move on already.

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Yes, pllleeasssee.

bokbadok wrote:

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Danger from my censure? Right. What are / were people really afraid of? Did I ever, ever once summarily edit or delete anyone's post when I was moderator?
No cat.  This most recent post is a perfect example of what Dyany was referring to.  Listen to yourself.  You want others to look inward and figure out what they need to change, but you reject the very idea, nay, the implication that you would benefit from the same introspection.

We all have improvements to make.  Fingerpointing does nothing to foster forgiveness and peace here.  Saying "I forgive you" implies wrongdoing.  Real forgiving is quiet, personal, and private.

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Bok, I don't usually like to get involved in any contention.  I'm usually the person who tries to smooth things over or wants to get past it.  But it seems you lack drama in your real life and have the need to drag out the drama here.  Cat said he was sorry.  Maybe you didn't 'feel' it but who are you to judge whether or not it was sincere?  And Cat saying "I forgive you" may have been his way of trying to make sure people knew he was not holding grudges towards anyone.  It seems to me that you want to stir the pot as much as anyone else.  Finding fault with every little thing Cat says.
How about letting some things go.  Even if you disagree or don't feel it was sincere or real. 
Let it go.  You'll feel better.

apparently more than they want of themselves, Cat.

I'm sorry Ray. I'll go back to being quiet. Sometimes I just get so disgusted.