OK, here's my dilemma. My husband has had a good interview with a company in Oklahoma, where the cost of living is MUCH cheaper than here in Idaho. We haven't heard back from them yet, but his prospects look good, so I'm trying to research as much as possible so I can have a decision to take to the Lord if he is given a good offer. Trouble is, both places have SOOOOO many pluses for me that I am having a devil of a time deciding, so I'm throwing my case before you guys to see if you have any good advice. I know many of the criteria will be subjective, but it will make me feel better to have some input.
First, pluses for here: 1. I LOVE our ward. I love being 2 miles from the chapel. I love being in a fast-growing area. I love being in a ward with such small ward boundaries. 2. I love being close to the mountains. 3. I have a lot of extended family in the area. 4. Real estate is still good here so we have the potential of really great growth in our home value. 5. The weather is wonderful and dry. 6. Risks of disasters (floods, tornadoes) is incredibly low up here. 7. We're only 30 minutes from the temple, as opposed to 2 hours. 8. Very few bugs. 9. We have incredibly good medical coverage at my husband's current job and I'm afraid no one else could come close to matching it. 10. I love and trust my doctors a lot, and I had a hard time finding them. 11. Moving (esp. that far) is a PAIN IN THE REAR.
Pluses for Oklahoma: 1. We'd be close to most of my immediate family and they are wonderfully loving and supportive. 2. Real estate prices are ding dang CHEAP. E.g., my parents' house is over 2000 sq. ft on a full acre of land in a neighborhood. It's semi-rural. Last time it appraised for less than $150,000 and costs of real estate haven't gone up much since then. 3. I love the storms down there. 4. I love the people down there. I grew up down there. There is a stability in the ward and I already know lots of people. 5. We'd be away from my husband's family. I hate saying this, but his brother just got out of prison (where he was so bad he was never eligible for parole and he wouldn't take counseling) for molesting multiple children and his sister was recently in rehab for using drugs for over 20 years, plus she is living with an ex-con. They are somewhat toxic and dangerous to be around, and my husband doesn't see it. 6. It's in the middle of the country, so it's easy to drive to lots of places I want to go see. 7. There are better cultural and educational opportunities in the area.
So the numbers are unequal, but the part about being away from my husband's family is a doozy IMHO. The whole thing drives me batty and I'm really struggling with whether or not I want to move. Part of me really wants to. Part of me really doesn't. Help!
Plus: If it's Ok City, then you're only 3 hours away from the Roper Clan!
Minus: You have to have your own clothing for the OK City temple, 'cause they won't borrow ya'll none.
Plus: If'n you don't have your own temple clothes, the Dallas Temple is only 3 hours away, and then it's just a hop, skip, and jump to visit the Roper clan in Fort Worth!
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The ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation is the single most important skill that can be acquired in this life. - Julie Beck
Actually it would be in the Tulsa area, but we have our own temple clothes so that would work. I'm friends with the temple president there, too, love him to pieces.
Tulsa? Tulsa's like five hours! Which means it's too far for a day trip, which means it's never gonna happen :grumble:
However, we do have a close family friend who lives in Springfield MO, so we drive right through Tulsa at least once per year. We've even stayed the night there after a late start from FW. So dinner's a defininte maybe ;)
Idaho's hard to leave, though. I grew up on the eastern side. We lived in Boise for several years before moving to Texas. If I could support my family on a teacher's salary in Idaho, we'd seriously consider moving back. That will never happen, though--real estate is almost twice as expensive and Idaho pays teachers half of what I make.
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The ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation is the single most important skill that can be acquired in this life. - Julie Beck
If the real estate is that much cheaper in OK, could you rent out your home in Idaho? I know that brings its own frustrations and challenges, but w/the right tenant, that might be an option to increase the property value. Or if you decide you don't like OK, to go back.
You've heard of the wonders our land does possess, It's beautiful valleys and hills, The majestic forests where nature abounds, We love every nook and rill.
And here we have Idaho Winning her way to fame. Silver and gold in the sunlight blaze, and romance lies in her name. Singing, we're singing of you, Ah, proudly too, All our lives thru, we'll go Singing, singing of you, Singing of Idaho.
That's been with me since third grade, along with "Fifty Nifty United States."
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The ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation is the single most important skill that can be acquired in this life. - Julie Beck
Hmmm, considering I have never lived in either state that's a tough one. Cat has alot of extended family in Idaho, but I know he would never want to live there. My brother served a mission there and didn't really like it. Now, if your immediate family lives in Oklahoma that should be a big plus. I say "should be" because not everyone likes living around family. If the cost of living is alot lower, then I say go for it. That's a plus. Insurance? Well, it is hard to find good insurance. You might thoroughly check out what the benefits are like before your hubby accepts any kind of offer first and decide if its worth it. That could be a minus.
Doctors? Yeah, it is hard to find good doctors you know and trust. But, perhaps you can find new ones in Oklahoma, even if it is kind of a pain. So that's a minus.
So far, I've got just about as many plusses and minueses as you do Dyany. Sorry! Not much help. I would just pray long and hard about it.
Oh, that Oklahoma song can get kind of annoying I think, so give that one a minus.
tell me about in Poncho! When I first moved here from OK, I got SO SICK of everyone bursting into song every time I told them where I was from.
We'll definitely be checking out the insurance well, since I am a sickly person *cough cough*. We'll be asking about the monthly premium, deductible, out-of-pocket cap, lifetime cap, etc.
I *do* like living around my family, except for the fact that they are terrible planners so things tend to be rather chaotic. However, I would rather be around chaos than danger and toxicity.
Oh, and Roper: I don't even know the tune to that and I've lived here 13 years. So my state song is more famous than YOUR state song. ;)
Ruprecht, Now, I want you to meet this nice lady. Mother? -This isn't your mother. -Not Mother? But I have wonderful news. Miss Trumble and I are going to be married. We're going to live in Oklahoma. Really?
Oklahoma! He'll enjoy Oklahoma's wide-open spaces. Oklahoma, Oklahoma, Oklahoma, Oklahoma, Oklahoma!!!!!!!!!! He loves to run and run and run.
You know how I feel. I just had to stop in and say that #5 for OK counts for a lot more than one positive, IMO.
Sell all your stuff and start over when you get there! Then you don't have to move anything. We'll take the leather couch and the Wii off your hands. :D
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"There is order in the way the Lord reveals His will to mankind. . .we cannot receive revelation for someone else's stewardship." L. Tom Perry
Dyany, I say flip a coin. Or put OK on the wall and ID next to it and throw 5 darts. Whichever has the most wins. Or think of a number from 1-10 and then ask all of us to choose a number. Whoever gets the number you're thinking of chooses which state.
I mean, HF uses mysterious ways to help us make decisions, right?
-- Edited by beefche at 17:38, 2007-09-05
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It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
*blink* BEEFIE! I kept seeing your posts and thinking, 'huh, she changed her avatar' but then when Polly yelled your name I remembered you hadn't signed up yet. :grin: So WELCOME! And I like this avatar much better than the licky one. :)))
Well, we'll see what happens if and when we get a good job offer. It just seems weirdly coincidental that in an area where there are VERY few ColdFusion jobs, the recruiter just happened to have a good one on his desk right when my husband called....
Dyany, why would you leave when we're just getting to know each other? Was it something I said?
-- Edited by hiccups at 21:01, 2007-09-05
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"The promptings of the Holy Ghost will always be sufficient for our needs if we keep to the covenant path. Our path is uphill most days, but the help we receive for the climb is literally divine." --Elaine S. Dalton
hiccups: No! Friends up here is one of the reasons I am reluctant to leave! It's just...number 1 and number 5 on my pro-Oklahoma list are so compelling....
Besides, I still don't know what I'm going to do. Except I am looking into real estate down there this week. I figure part of the decision should be based on how much we would have to pay for the type of house and lot we want and in a location that we want. And if we move I want a mondo air conditioner, gosh darn it!
Oklahoma IS beautiful. I love the mountains up here, but the green down there is also awesome. And the sunsets. And the thunderstorms. And the redbuds blooming in the spring. And my parents' lawn covered with violets in the springtime. Instead of the plants you have to force to grow up here in the desert. Of course, the green comes with humidity, bugs, and extraordinarily high mold and pollen counts -- but since I grew up there my allergies there are actually not as bad as they are up here.
And I'm rambling. Can you tell this has been occupying my mind for far too long?
When will you know more about whether he'll be made an offer? Do you have any kind of time window?
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"The promptings of the Holy Ghost will always be sufficient for our needs if we keep to the covenant path. Our path is uphill most days, but the help we receive for the climb is literally divine." --Elaine S. Dalton
Yeah, I can't really talk. I moved like 1400 miles away from my parents and the distance from them isn't a bad thing.
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"The promptings of the Holy Ghost will always be sufficient for our needs if we keep to the covenant path. Our path is uphill most days, but the help we receive for the climb is literally divine." --Elaine S. Dalton
the plants you have to force to grow up here in the desert.
Dyany dear... Let me EXPLAIN to you exactly WHAT a desert is... As far as people in my next of the woods all agree... you do NOT live in what comes even close to a desert!
I was laughing when I moved to the area and everyone kept calling it a desert. It's not lush, but... if everything isn't the color of sand, it's just not what I consider desert.
__________________
"The promptings of the Holy Ghost will always be sufficient for our needs if we keep to the covenant path. Our path is uphill most days, but the help we receive for the climb is literally divine." --Elaine S. Dalton
"The promptings of the Holy Ghost will always be sufficient for our needs if we keep to the covenant path. Our path is uphill most days, but the help we receive for the climb is literally divine." --Elaine S. Dalton
I don't know...the Sonoran desert is really pretty I think.
Sometimes how I make a decision is I try to be as educated as possible, but being so educated usually makes it so that my pros and cons are about equal. So then what do I do? I pray...and it seems like the more I talk it out the more I come to one conclusion for no particular reason. So then I pray and tell Heavenly Father that I've decided to go with a certain decision and ask Him to let me know if it's wrong. If I really can't make a decision, I just go with one and if that path doesn't feel like it'll help me progress, then I change my mind and go with the other, or sometimes other better opportunities come along.
Maybe you and your husband could fast about it for help.
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Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.
— Oscar Wilde
Husband doesn't want to do TOO much research until he knows he has the job offer. Which I completely understand. So I'm doing lots of the research myself.
Here's what I've found on cost of living, which amazes me:
Here, 18 miles from town, we have a 1/4 acre lot and an 1800 sq. ft. house that's about 4 years old. It's fenced, landscaped, full sprinklers. Cost us $198,000 and that was a very good deal.
In Oklahoma we can get a 2300 sq. ft. home, new built, energy star standard, gas stove standard, fully landscaped (sprinklers not needed), almost a 1/4 acre lot, neighborhood backs onto a golf course, is 2 miles from town, $5000 of closing costs paid, for less than $175,000. And that's one of the better builders in the area.
I think that is a considerable savings. If we moved closer to my parents (about 10 miles from town) the savings would be even bigger (and make my husband happy because he wants no HOA so he can have windmills and solar panels and bees).
And this is the reason my husband avoids the research. I'm already going ga-ga over the possibility of getting a brand new house with that much room for only that much money. To the point that it greatly biases my decision-making skills and will greatly disappoint me if he doesn't get the job offer. I covet new houses, darn me.
Housing got pretty bad in our areas too... AZ in on that list for top 10 states for housing loan defaults... No one who bought in the past 2-3 years (depending on where you are in the state) can sell for what they paid for their house...
We bought 13+ years ago and bought a lot less house than we could have qualified for. Our home is almost paid off... Unfortunately, I know that my kids are going to have a hard time of it... ever having a home of their own...
"The promptings of the Holy Ghost will always be sufficient for our needs if we keep to the covenant path. Our path is uphill most days, but the help we receive for the climb is literally divine." --Elaine S. Dalton
Hehehe. Of course she saw the pillar of salt. There are lots (Ha!) of them. That's how the story originally got circulated. It was a campfire story. "See that pillar over there? Well, it once was a woman..."
As far as people in my next of the woods all agree... you do NOT live in what comes even close to a desert!
