"Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved..." D&C 121:41
I've heard many try to justify their actions with a mistaken interpretation of this principle: It's okay to be harsh, demanding, borderline abusive, or whatever the particular view of "sharpness" may be, as long as one says "I love you" and acts all nice afterwards.
A footnote leads to the topcial guide reference of "reproof," which then leads to Ephesians 4:15. To reprove means to "speak the truth in love."
I had a teacher at Ricks who said, "It is unloving to let a person continue making the same mistake." Maybe that's part of speaking the truth in love.
What does it mean to you to speak the truth in love?
In what ways do you apply that in your relationships?
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The ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation is the single most important skill that can be acquired in this life. - Julie Beck
I always understood sharpness to mean exactness. IMO that can only be done after having observed the person, their choices, the situation and the behaviors over an extended period of time and in the right Spirit, free of distractions, personal agendas, or an audience...
--Ray
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I'm not slow; I'm special. (Don't take it personally, everyone finds me offensive. Yet somehow I manage to live with myself.)
If we have nothing but the other person's welfare at heart, if we have no thought for personal gain or aggrandizement, if our own actions and life are as clean as we can make them, and if we have prayed about it and are speaking as directed by the spirit, then sure, it's speaking the truth in love.
Rarely, are we called upon to call others to repentance. Change comes best (some would say only) from within.
And the best version of calling others to repentance is by our example, which hopefully can demonstrate to them a better way to live.