I usually just ask people what ward they are in or if they have a calling. Since most of us have had several callings over the years this opens an immediate area of conversation.
I tried to avoid asking people if they served a mission because so many members are converts these days and others chose not to go or were unable to go. This line of questioning can make some folks feel uncomfortable especially since there is an unrighteous stigma sometimes placed on people who did not go on a mission. In the interest of full disclosure, I didn't go on one myself. I went to college, got married, etc. I've have a few friends that went that route also and seeing the looks that I and they get when we tell them we didn't would probably peel paint. So I try to avoid this line of questioning.
The scouts thing works if you determine they aren't a convert. Most men participated in scouting if they grew up in the church.
I'm careful about asking where people met or were married because these can be a bit tricky, especially for people who converted after marriage who may have met somewhere like a bar, strip club, etc. The marriage question can be tough also because I have met a lot of very active members who married outside the temple and in some cases even years later after 6 puppies still are not sealed. This can be especially tough if one spouse is wanting to be sealed but the other is resisting. Can you say, "Awkward."
A big one in our ward is to ask about employment. With over half the ward being military this can get things going. Of course, not being military, I have few things to talk to the military folks about in this department. If they are not military then I can usually get a conversation going off of that one. The military folks use so many acronyms that I cannot understand anything about where they work.
Asking about family is tough also. I once asked a couple if they had any children. The wife got all sad. They had a baby but her mom had custody in another state. Awkward. Then it gets awkard if they are trying to have a family and have been unsuccessful.
I hate to admit this but I try and keep conversations pretty generic and try not to delve into anything more than work, calling, ward because people in the church seem to want to volunteer way to much information. I know several people who are on anti-depressants, psychotropic mood alterers, or other meds plus the details of their behaviors. I even knew about a woman's homosexual affair and another brother's abuse of his children because people just don't seem to want to hold anything back in a casual conversation. Past eating disorders, surgical proceedures, and other stuff I wouldn't share are volunteered in conversations. I would rather not know that your wife is a OCD case who washed her hands once until they cracked and bled. Please don't share with my wife the details of your lesbian affair either. It seems like some in the church like to toss their garbage around like it was a badge of honor instead of a private thing for the family and the bishop. I have had these icebreaking moments turn into these things so many times that I just want to walk away and pretend like I didn't even extend the hand of welcome. It also makes things really uncomfortable at ward socials. I have also gotten really picky about who I let into my home from the ward or where I let my children go for play dates. Sad but sometimes it seems worse meeting people at church than meeting them in my job.
Are you serious? Cotton, the fabric of our lives grown by hard working, salt of the earth farmers or corban made from cancer causing chemicals by coke sniffing corporate pin heads in white outfits. Cotton!
Are you serious? Cotton, the fabric of our lives grown by hard working, salt of the earth farmers or corban made from cancer causing chemicals by coke sniffing corporate pin heads in white outfits. Cotton!
-- Edited by salesortonscom at 14:56, 2006-12-19
Relax and let the soothing vapors of the fresh Tomaccolatte brand tomaoccolate calm your nerves... imagine you are floating in a pool of utmost tranquility and serenity... now, be the Dew...
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It seems to me the only thing you've learned is that Caesar is a "salad dressing dude."
I don't drink soda very often. Maybe once or twice a year and then only rootbeer. I don't like how soda tastes. I know there is something wrong with me. But all the calories I save I can use to eat more cheese. Cheese, hmmmmmmmm.
Ah, I see. So, it is okay for the womens to have nice silky things that are official patterned, but we mens must wear cotton or cotton-poly, and if we want something exotic, we can wear nylon mesh official patterned...
Sounds good to me, cuz don't ya just hate to sit down and start sliding off the chair cuz thar be no friction betwixt what's outer and under?
Hmmm... but I wonders, does the womens then have them impure thought thingees cuz they have them nice silky things?
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It seems to me the only thing you've learned is that Caesar is a "salad dressing dude."
Back on topic, I just thought of a couple good ones...
Have you ever wanted to be financially independent?
If the priesthood is kind of like the force, would you agree that makes the first presidency and quorum of the twelve kind of like the jedi council?
Wow! You're new eh? I sure hope you aren't from (fill in the blank), cuz the last family that moved in here from (fill in the blank) sure left the ward in a shambles, and they told us they were a typical average family from (fill in the blank)...
Hey, would you like to hear about my most recent revelation?
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It seems to me the only thing you've learned is that Caesar is a "salad dressing dude."
We have not had one member try to get us in Amway since we've lived in Michigan, and it's headquarters are / were here...
Mind you, we had some folks try to get us to join up in some phone service / utility reselling scheme and they acted all hurt and upset when I showed them the numbers didn't justify the claims and that I didn't have the interest in it from any approach.
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It seems to me the only thing you've learned is that Caesar is a "salad dressing dude."
I hate these deals especially when members invite you over and expect a sale. I used to home teach a family that was very difficult to ever get an appointment with or even a return phone call. Suddenly they wanted me to come over. I thought that maybe this inactive family had finally turned the corner. I get there and they try to sell me their multilevel marketing phone card scheme. I felt used. Fortunately they moved a few months after that. My wife and I get invited to every party and product deal imaginable all by members. I refuse to go but she goes sometimes. I have never been invited to one of these scams by anyone other than church members.
