Put this accomplishment on your resume. It will help. (btw, I am just kidding)
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If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of freedom, go from us in peace. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen! - Samuel Adams
Now we must excommunicate one another and cause a schism that lasts for years. There can not be two pontiffs...
One must be an imposter and the other the true one. But which? And, I predict that the answer can only be arrived at through bloodshed of the underlings on the forum we send out to enforce our respective claims, as prayer and fasting shall not reveal which of us is the one true pontiff. Too bad we only have about 52 other people who can fight it out instead of hundreds of thousands...
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It seems to me the only thing you've learned is that Caesar is a "salad dressing dude."
And, I predict that the answer can only be arrived at through bloodshed of the underlings on the forum we send out to enforce our respective claims, as prayer and fasting shall not reveal which of us is the one true pontiff. Too bad we only have about 52 other people who can fight it out instead of hundreds of thousands... 
