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Post Info TOPIC: I couldn't resist posting this...


Hot Air Balloon

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I couldn't resist posting this...


At the far end of town where the Grickle-grass grows and the wind smells slow-and-sour when it blows and no birds ever sing excepting old crows.. is the Street of the Lifted Lorax.

And deep in the Grickle-grass, some people say, if you look deep enough you can still see, today, where the Lorax once stood just as long as it could
before somebody lifted the Lorax away.



What was the Lorax?
Any why was it there?
And why was it lifted and taken somewhere from the far end of town where the Grickle-grass grows?
The old Once-ler still lives here.
Ask him. He knows.


You wonīt see the Once-ler.
Donīt knock at his door.
He stays in his Lerkim on top of his store.
He stays in his Lerkim, cold under the roof,
where he makes his own clothes
out of miff-muffered moof.
And on special dank midnights in August,
he peeks out of the shutters
and sometimes he speaks
and tells how the Lorax was lifted away.
Heīll tell you, perhaps... if youīre willing to pay.


On the end of a rope he lets down a tin pail
and you have to toss in fifteen cents
and a nail
and the shell of a great-great-great-
grandfather snail.


Then he pulls up the pail,
makes a most careful count
to see if you’ve paid him the proper amount.


Then he hides what you paid him away in his Snuvv,
his secret strange hole
in his gruvvulous glove.
Then he grunts, I will call you by Whisper-ma-Phone,
for the secrets I tell you are for your ears alone.


SLUPP
Down slupps the Whisper-ma-Phone to your ear
and the old Once-lerīs whispers are not very clear,
since they have to come down through a snergelly hose,
and he sounds as if he had smallish bees up his nose.
Now Iīll tell you, he says, with his teeth sounding gray,
how the Lorax got lifted and taken away...
It all started way back... such a long, long time back...


Way back in the days when the grass was still green
and the pond was still wet
and the clouds were still clean,
and the song of the Swomee-Swans rang out in space...
one morning, I came to this glorious place.
And I first saw the trees!  The Truffula Trees!
The bright-colored tufts of the Truffula Trees!
Mile after mile in the fresh morning breeze.


And under the trees, I saw Brown Bar-ba-loots
frisking about in their Bar-ba-loot suits
as they played in the shade and ate Truffula Fruits.


From the rippulous pond came the comfortable sound
of the Humming-Fish humming while splashing around.


But those trees! Those trees!
Those Truffula Trees!

All my life Iīd been searching for trees such as these.
The touch of their tufts was much softer than silk.
And they had the sweet smell of fresh butterfly milk.


I felt a great leaping of joy in my heart.
I knew just what Iīd do!
I unloaded my cart.


In no time at all, I had built a small shop.
Then I chopped down a Truffula Tree with one chop.
And with great skillful skill and with great speedy speed,
I took the soft tuft. And I knitted a Thneed!


The instand Iīd finished, I heard a ga-Zump!
I looked.
I saw something pop out of the stump
of the tree Iīd chopped down. It was sort of a man.
Describe him?...Thatīs hard. I donīt know if I can.


He was shortish. And oldish.
And brownish. And mossy.
And he spoke with a voice
that was sharpish and bossy.


Mister! he said with a sawdusty sneeze,
I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees.
I speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues.
And Iīm asking you, sir, at the top of my lungs--
he was very upset as he shouted and puffed--
Whatīs that THING youīve made out of my Truffula tuft?


Look, Lorax, I said. Thereīs no cause for alarm.
I chopped just one tree. I am doing no harm.
Iīm being quite useful. This thing is a Thneed.
A Thneedīs a Fine-Something-That-All-People-Need!
Itīs a shirt. Itīs a sock. Itīs a glove. Itīs a hat.
But it has other uses. Yes, far beyond that.
You can use it for carpets. For pillows! For sheets!
Or curtains! Or covers for bicycle seats!
The Lorax said,
Sir! You are crazy with greed.
There is no one on earth
who would buy that fool Thneed!



But the very next minute I proved he was wrong.
For, just at that minute, a chap came along,
and he thought that the Thneed I had knitted was great.
He happily bought it for three ninety-eight.
I laughed at the Lorax, You poor stupid guy!
You never can tell what some people will buy.


I repeat, cried the Lorax,
I speak for the trees!


Iīm busy, I told him.
Shut up, if you please.
I rushed īcross the room, and in no time at all,
built a radio-phone. I put in a quick call.
I called all my brothers and uncles and aunts
and I said, Listen here! Hereīs a wonderful chance
for the whole Once-ler Family to get mighty rich!
Get over here fast! Take the road to North Nitch.
Turn left at Weehawken. Sharp right at South Stich.


And, in no time at all,
in the factory I built,
the whole Once-ler Family
was working full tilt.
We were all knitting Thneeds
just as busy as bees,
to the sound of the chopping
of Truffula Trees.


Then...
Oh! Baby! Oh!
How my business did grow!
Now, chopping one tree
at a time
was too slow.


So I quickly invented my Super-Axe-Hacker
which whacked off four Truffula Trees at one smacker.
We were making Thneeds
four times as fast as before!
And that Lorax?... He didnīt show up any more.


But the next week
he knocked
on my new office door.
He snapped, Iīm the Lorax who speaks for the trees
which you seem to be chopping as fast as you please.
But Iīm also in charge of the Brown Bar-ba-loots
who played in the shade in their Bar-ba-loot suits
and happily lived, eating Truffula Fruits.
NOW...thanks to your hacking my trees to the ground,
thereīs not enough Truffula Fruit to go īround.
And my poor Bar-ba-loots are all getting the crummies
because they have gas, and no food, in their tummies!


They loved living here. But I canīt let them stay.
Theyīll have to find food. And I hope that they may.
Good luck, boys, he cried. And he sent them away.


I, the Once-ler, felt sad as I watched them all go.
BUT... business is business!  And business must grow
regardless of crummies in tummies, you know.


I meant no harm. I most truly did not.
But I had to grow bigger. So bigger I got.
I biggered my factory. I biggered my roads.
I biggered my wagons. I biggered the loads
of the Thneeds I shipped out. I was shipping them forth
to the South! To the East! To the West! To the North!
I went right on biggering...selling more Thneeds.
And I biggered my money, which everyone needs.


Then again he came back! I was fixing some pipes
when that old nuisance Lorax came back with more gripes.
I am the Lorax, he coughed and he whiffed.
He sneezed and he snuffled. He snarggled. He sniffed.
Once-ler! he cried with a cruffulous croak.
Once-ler! Youīre making such smogulous smoke!
My poor Swomee-Swans...why, they canīt sing a note!
No one can sing who has smog in his throat.


And so, said the Lorax,  --please pardon my cough--
they cannot live here.   So Iīm sending them off.


Where will they go?... I don't hopefully know.
They may have to fly for a month...or a year...
To escape from the smog youīve smogged-up around here.


Whatīs more, snapped the Lorax. (His dander was up.)
Let me say a few words about Gluppity-Glupp.
Your machinery chugs on, day and night without stop
making Gluppity-Glup. Also Schloppity-Schlopp.
And what do you do with this leftover goo?...
Iīll show you. You dirty old Once-ler man, you!


Youīre glumping the pond where the Humming-Fish hummed!
No more can they hum, for their gills are all gummed.
So Iīm sending them off. Oh, their future is dreary.
Theyīll walk on their fins and get woefully weary
in search of some water that isnīt so smeary.


And then I got mad. I got terribly mad.
I yelled at the Lorax, Now listen here, Dad!
All you do is yap-yap and say, Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!
Well, I have my rights, sir, and Iīm telling you
I intend to go on doing just what I do!
And, for your information, you Lorax, Iīm figgering on biggering
and BIGGERING and BIGGERING and BIGGERING,
turning MORE Truffula Trees into Thneeds
which everyone, EVERYONE, EVERYONE needs!


And at that very moment, we heard a loud whack!
From outside in the fields came a sickening smack
of an axe on a tree. Then we heard the tree fall.
The very last Truffula Tree of them all!


No more trees. No more Thneeds. No more work to be done.
So, in no time, my uncles and aunts, every one,
all waved me good-bye. They jumped into my cars
and drove away under the smoke-smuggered stars.


Now all that was left īneath the bad-smelling sky
was my big empty factory...  the Lorax... and I.


The Lorax said nothing. Just gave me a glance...
just gave me a very sad, sad backward glance...
as he lifted himself by the seat of his pants.
And Iīll never forget the grim look on his face
when he heisted himself and took leave of this place,
through a hole in the smog, without leaving a trace.


And all that the Lorax left here in this mess
was a small pile of rocks, with one word...
UNLESS. Whatever that meant, well, I just couldnīt guess.


That was long, long ago. But each day since that day
Iīve sat here and worried and worried away.
Through the years, while my buildings
have fallen apart, Iīve worried about it
with all of my heart. But now, says the Once-ler,
Now that youīre here, the word of the Lorax seems perfectly clear.
UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot,
nothing is going to get better.   Itīs not. SO...
Catch! calls the Once-ler. He lets something fall.
Itīs a Truffula Seed. Itīs the last one of all!
Youīre in charge of the last of the Truffula Seeds.
And Truffula Trees are what everyone needs.
Plant a new Truffula. Treat it with care.
Give it clean water. And feed it fresh air.
Grow a forest. Protect it from axes that hack.
Then the Lorax and all of his friends may come back.


 



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I'm not slow; I'm special.
(Don't take it personally, everyone finds me offensive. Yet somehow I manage to live with myself.)


Hot Air Balloon

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(Btw, I'm something of an environmentalist...)


 


--Ray



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I'm not slow; I'm special.
(Don't take it personally, everyone finds me offensive. Yet somehow I manage to live with myself.)


Senior Bucketkeeper

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I've noticed. That book...who ever marketed it for children? It takes forever to get through.

You'd probably also like The Wump World, ray

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Hot Air Balloon

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Oh man, I love Bill Peet!!


The best book is "Big Bad Bruce", but the "Gnats of Notty Pine" isn't bad... and there's one about a bunch of little critters getting displaced from their home, I think it had a squirrel in it. I used to wish I could draw just like him...


--Ray


 



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I'm not slow; I'm special.
(Don't take it personally, everyone finds me offensive. Yet somehow I manage to live with myself.)


Senior Member

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Someday I'm going to invest the time in re-writing the Lorax based on what a real Onceler would have done.


Because the world's real oncelers understand the importance of sustaining the business, he would have done things like:


* Created a "Director of Habitat Protection", hired the Lorax, and gave him a budget and some acerage to play with.  He could spend most of his time speaking for his d*mn trees by griping at backcountry hikers for not sticking to the trails, and failing to pack out their banana peels.  I guess I could even give him the authority to revoke permits and kick people out of the preserve.  He'd probably like that.


* Had a much better community affairs office, maybe created "Truffula-word theme park". Produced full-color brocures out of the finest thneedpaper, highlighting our replanting and erosion control programs.


* Worked with local schools to bring busloads of kids to see the happy Bar-ba-loots stuffing themselves fat on truffula fruits. They could watch Swomee-Swans, and learn about sustainable agriculture.  They could plant their own truffula tree as part of the field trip.


* Opened a humming-fish nursery, stocking rivers and lakes in 3 different states.  Bought time on the various Sunday morning fishing shows, and sponsored a few events to generate interest in the sport.


* Invested 1% of all before-tax profits into R&D, to find ways to reduce the amount of smogulous smoke, gluppity-glup. Also schloppity-schlopp waste produced by the thneed manufacturing processes.  Sucesses would be highlighted in every quarterly report on page one with full color graphs.


* Fired all his idiot relatives and gone public.  Then he would have hired a real board of directors, who would know what to do with a friggin' long-term plan.


You see, the Onceler is NOT an example of what happens when unregulated businessmen are unleashed on the planet.  He's a strawman.  And he's an idiot, otherwise he never would have gone out of business.


HSR
(forcing the question - can a thread be moved to a more appropriate forum?)



-- Edited by Homestar Runner at 15:39, 2006-09-06

-- Edited by Homestar Runner at 15:42, 2006-09-06

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Hot Air Balloon

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It's not entirely a strawman. Many of the things you list there were done after legislators and loraxian groups got together and brought about change...


--Ray


 



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I'm not slow; I'm special.
(Don't take it personally, everyone finds me offensive. Yet somehow I manage to live with myself.)


Senior Member

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True enough.  The industrial revolution had it's share of Once-lers, a handfull of generations ago.

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Hot Air Balloon

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   ...and history never repeats itself...


--Ray



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I'm not slow; I'm special.
(Don't take it personally, everyone finds me offensive. Yet somehow I manage to live with myself.)


Senior Bucketkeeper

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Somehow this thread has taken a less than humorous turn....

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Head Chef

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bokbadok wrote:

Somehow this thread has taken a less than humorous turn....



If you want, I can move the thread to an appropriate area.

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If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of freedom, go from us in peace. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen!
- Samuel Adams


Hot Air Balloon

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Posts: 5370
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Move it! Move it! (I just wanna see you move your power in action. :) )


--Ray



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I'm not slow; I'm special.
(Don't take it personally, everyone finds me offensive. Yet somehow I manage to live with myself.)
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