A lawyer parks his Mercedes on the side of the street and opens the door to get out. Just then a city garbage truck lumbers by and neatly clips off his door. Furious, the lawyer uses his voice-activated car phone to call 911. The police arrive first, and the lawyer immediately launches into a tirade about suing the city for millions of dollars. The police officer says, "You lawyers are all so materialistic. You dont even realize your left arm has been torn off." The lawyer looks down at his empty ragged sleeve and yells, "MY ROLEX!"
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The ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation is the single most important skill that can be acquired in this life. - Julie Beck
Ah... Lawyer jokes... nothing could be finer. My last company, the CEO was a corporate lawyer, and we always had a few for him each time he came to visit...
Sadly the only one I can remember is this oldie, but goodie...
Q.What do you call ten thousand dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A. A good start.
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I'm not slow; I'm special. (Don't take it personally, everyone finds me offensive. Yet somehow I manage to live with myself.)
A police officer was called to the scene of a hit-and-run. In making out his report, he described the victim as an attorney, though no identification was found on the body.
His puzzled rookie partner asked him, "How do you know he's a lawyer?"
"No skid marks."
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"Look back on our struggle for freedom, trace our present day's strength to its source, and you'll find that man's pathway to glory is strewn with the bones of a horse."
- Anonymous
What's the difference between a lawyer and a blood-sucking leech?
.... leeches stop sucking after you die.
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Ye hear of wars in far countries, and you say that there will soon be great wars in far countries, but ye know not the hearts of men in your own land.
- D&C 38:29
