Well, I thought I was in a nice branch. Lately, an 11 year old primary girl has been tormenting my youngest, calling him names, jumping on him, trying to hurt. Another boy, about 6 or 7 months older, my son is 8, has been attacking on him, choking him, calling names. Neither set of parents will do anything and it occurs right in front of them and they just let it go. My wife has talked to the mother of the girl and the response was, oh well, it's just what kids do.
I have had to get on the older kids of this family as they will harass and torment younger and smaller young men. I have had to stop it in front of their father. There are a number of families who will do nothing about their unruly kids, nothing at all, I and my dad are having to make them behave. If their parents won't do what is right, I will say something.
Part of the crap on my youngest is because he is in martial arts they think they have something to prove and want to challenge him. He has not cut loose on them, but I have now told him if the kid tries choking him, he can take care of it using karate, I am done with it. The girl was making him so mad and attacking him so much that my son started chucking her around the gym and I had to kick the girl out, she was the problem, I was there. These kids jump on tables, tear through the church running, harassing kids, and nothing.
Then my wife tells me this family has a pool party and the girl starts telling my son and wife that we were not invited because we are "dumb donkeys" and so are my son's grandparents. I don't care about that stuff, don't care what other people think of me, but it hurts my wife. She has not really had much friends and then these people do this, apparently it is a regular thing amongst several families. She tries to be friends, and our family busts our butts working in the branch. I don't get this about some people thinking the crap smells sweeter than everyone elses'.
I and my dad have pretty much have had to be the drivers and disciplinarians of youth programs, scouts. No one will do anything, slack, drop it all, and we are having to pick up the slack. I am to the point of getting in some faces and setting things straight. What is with people that think it is agency for their kids to run wild and let them make their own "decisions". Sometimes I get real sick of some church members and their crap and who is included. Some of the youth are real bad about excluding others, I have never understood that.
Just ranting, talking with parents, which we have done in the past, does not work. I think I see more problems with irresponsible LDS parents and kids than any others. No, my kids don't get away with jack. If they act up in class, they are in trouble. LDS should know better. The wickedness of the church is a stumbling block.
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Lo, there I see my mother, my sisters, my brothers Lo, there I see the line of my people back to the beginning Lo, they call to me, they bid me take my place among them In the halls of Valhalla, where the brave may live...forever
I think that this sort of behavior is common in our society, unfortunately. Kids think that they can and should get away with anything. They may think that they are getting out from under consequences, but it doesn't work that way.
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If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of freedom, go from us in peace. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen! - Samuel Adams
That is such a pet peeve of mine: OPK (other people's kids) running amok at church or church activities. My kids have their moments, but they get direction when we see they need it.
When it comes to the violence you mentioned, Val, that's a whole new level of running amok. If it happened to my kid I'd be raising some cain until the situation was resolved and if leaders wouldn't help get it resolved after the parent wouldn't, I'd be looking at the option of just doing sacrament mtg and then going back home. Depending on severity, I'd even consider pressing charges. Maybe I'm imagining it as worse than it is, though. Still, it does sound like something needs to give.
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"The promptings of the Holy Ghost will always be sufficient for our needs if we keep to the covenant path. Our path is uphill most days, but the help we receive for the climb is literally divine." --Elaine S. Dalton
My grandmother's brother was bullied back around 1905 in a rural county in Utah (near 100% Mormon). Kids knocked him out of the school window, he landed and damaged his lungs. They had to move to Washington for better altitude to try and increase his oxygenation (of course they didn't know all the physics of breathing back then), but he eventually died as a result of that bullying. I don't think those bullies were ever punished, either. Physical bullying has been around a long time, even by some in the church.
Wow. That's very sad, Organist. And all the more reason to stop 'em before it goes that far. (And I have no illusions about LDS kids not being bullies. My brother quit going to church when he was a teen because of the intensity of some verbal bullying. I can't help but wonder where the leaders were when it was all going on. Oh, and the irony of being able to search one of the worst offender's name and getting deseret book hits is rich. Here's to hoping the guy really changed.)
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"The promptings of the Holy Ghost will always be sufficient for our needs if we keep to the covenant path. Our path is uphill most days, but the help we receive for the climb is literally divine." --Elaine S. Dalton
If the parents aren't doing anything about it, the ward leadership certainly should. Church is the last place a person should feel unsafe, physically or otherwise. Unfortunately, even as a grown woman, I've been bullied at church in a manner of speaking.
My grandma's parents emigrated from Germany in the early 1900's. My grandma was born here but her brothers weren't, and the parents didn't speak much English. They were bullied and beaten relentlessly, to the point that the teacher let them leave school ten minutes early to get a head start home before the bullies left school.
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"There is order in the way the Lord reveals His will to mankind. . .we cannot receive revelation for someone else's stewardship." L. Tom Perry
When at a ward function when one of our sons was about 11, and boy a couple years older slammed a basketball into his face. I put the kid across my knee and spanked the hell out of him in front of all the other boys.
Hiccups, now that you know somethng of the guy that bullied you brother, have you thought of contacting hem and reminding him of the damage it did. It might do all 3 of you some good.
Hiccups, now that you know somethng of the guy that bullied you brother, have you thought of contacting hem and reminding him of the damage it did. It might do all 3 of you some good.
-- Edited by lundbaek at 13:31, 2008-05-31
Lundbaek, I've thought about it. Considering my brother's mental state, though, I'm not sure it would do him any good. As for me, I can improve my attitude about the former bully without his participation. And I'm pretty sure that becoming an adult, getting married (he married a really sweet girl from my former ward) and having kids will have pretty well straightened him out. (If not, though, it's not really my business.) I should be happy that such a turkey giblet grew up so well. It's proof the Plan works.
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"The promptings of the Holy Ghost will always be sufficient for our needs if we keep to the covenant path. Our path is uphill most days, but the help we receive for the climb is literally divine." --Elaine S. Dalton
"Too many parents refuse to discipline thier kids. It is a prevalent problem. It also helps provide me with job security."
Mirkwood, my friends and I went to the beach at Ocean City this past weekend. (a big highschool graduation hangout town) While at a stoplight, we were quite impressed w/a police officer who had stopped two underage teens that had several cases of alcohol. The officer made the kids open the cans of beer and pour them down the street drain thing. I am glad the kids learned that lesson that way instead of getting hurt or causing injury to someone else.
