the contemplation of your own thoughts and desires and conduct
I've realized that I'm in the same position I was almost exactly two years ago. The cast and characters have changed a bit, but the scenery and storyline are too close to the same. It was an ugly place then, and it's uglier now, because I clearly didn't learn what I needed to last time around, so here I am again.
It occurs to me that when one keeps coming across the same problems and issues, it's time for a good, honest look in the mirror. Introspection. Sometimes what you see isn't pretty, and sometimes it's more simple than you thought.
So here I am, back where I was then. What, or rather WHO, is the common denominator? ME.
Introspection.
The tricky thing is to look at onesself from a purely honest, accurate viewpoint. It's hard to be objective about your own issues! Writing things down helps me to process and follow through, so I'll write my thoughts on how to do that here.
Introspection is effective when it is:
*Without blame.
The point is not to look at what everyone else's part is in the situation, except maybe to learn from them. The point is seeing what my part is, and what I could have done differently, and what I can do from now on.
*Without guilt.
This is a tough one. Guilt and I are close friends. But guilt is not constructive, it's destructive, so there's no place for it.
*Without comparison.
Thinking that someone else might handle the problem better (or worse) is irrelevant. Someone else having more difficult (or easier) trials is only perception. Our strengths and weaknesses are unique to each of us.
*Without rose-colored glasses.
If we can't see things for what they are, we can't identify the patterns that we need to change.
*With optimism.
If we can't see things for what they are, we can't identify the patterns that we need to change. If we don't have hope that change can happen and that it can make a difference, the change won't happen, or won't last
*With forgiveness.
for ourselves, and others.
That's just some of the stuff that's been on my mind lately.
-- Edited by Jen at 15:31, 2008-03-05
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"There is order in the way the Lord reveals His will to mankind. . .we cannot receive revelation for someone else's stewardship." L. Tom Perry
I'd add with guidance from God.... that makes finding the balance on the other items you mentioned a whole lot easier for me.
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"The promptings of the Holy Ghost will always be sufficient for our needs if we keep to the covenant path. Our path is uphill most days, but the help we receive for the climb is literally divine." --Elaine S. Dalton
Introspection is effective when it is Without blame, Without guilt, Without comparison, Without rose-colored glasses, With optimism, With forgiveness.
I'm a big fan of introspection. True introspection also makes you bulletproof. People can hurt us and find buttons to push on us, when there are parts about ourself that we'd rather not deal with. If you're acknowledging those parts and are on a first-name basis with them, you find that you really don't care when other people point a mocking finger and start trying to tear down.
How many of you think I might get hurt and offended if you call me a loudmouth? Well, it was introspection that gave me insight into that aspect of my character.
LM
-- Edited by LoudmouthMormon at 07:48, 2008-03-06
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And I'd discuss the holy books with the learned men, seven hours every day. That would be the sweetest thing of all.
Jen, you are a thoughtful and kind person. It is good to reflect. But if you find yourself beating yourself up, then you may be giving yourself too little credit. You bend over backwards to try to make situations work. You try to keep family relationships with people who are difficult. None of us are perfect. I would think that if you are doing anything it is most likely trying to hard to make people change. People can change, but sometimes we have to look at the track record and not expect a miracle.
It occurs to me that when one keeps coming across the same problems and issues, it's time for a good, honest look in the mirror. Introspection. Sometimes what you see isn't pretty, and sometimes it's more simple than you thought. When I was talking to a doctor about my depression, he asked about my job history. I mentioned I'd had 27 jobs over the past 10 years, if I didn't count the ones I'd held for less than 2 weeks. He suggested that maybe that was evidence that I had an ongoing problem.
You know, I disliked all those jobs for exactly the same reasons. But I never realized the reason was my own issues! Here I'd thought that every job on the planet was crummy . . .
I'm not laughing *at* you... yer just so funny. 
