Nowadays we see people marrying outside their religion and it's really no big deal. Marrying someone of another race? No biggie. Even another country or entirely different culture? Yeah, it's doable. There's even those who marry outside their generation - it's all cool.
But what about marrying someone on a different level of hotness? I mean, I can see going up or down a few degrees on the scale of cute-ology, but there's some couples that are just on opposite spectrums - you've seen 'em! How does this work? Do they raise their kids as hotties or homelies... or do they make some compromise, like "sorta cute"? Think FDR and Eleanor. Or in the gender-switch, Ric Ocasek and Paulina. Something's really mysterious here....
Am I making a mountain out of a molehill here?
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Life is tough but it's tougher if you're stupid. -John Wayne
My wife is a smokin' hot lady and I'm no where in her league. We make it work. I'm just lucky that way. (AND EXTREMELY BLESSED!!)
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no unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing... the truth of God will go forth till it has penetrated every website, sounded in every ear, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished and the great Jehovah shall say the work is done
I really don't think much about who marries who, outside the different faith thing, which is often a point of conflict once children arrive.
Last Sunday a sister shared her experience of meeting her husband. She as a member of a family that went innactive. It started with the little things. They stopped praying together because it was too contentious. They stopped reading their scriptures because no one was listening. They stopped family homeevening because whenever the family gathered someone ended up hurting someone else. Her father who started out refusing to referree sports on Sunday soon found himself "filling in" as referree for others that couldn't make their commitments. Soon they weren't going to church. She explained how in the end she was the only child who still wanted to go to church. Her parents would drop her off at church and pick her up when it was over. She faithfully attended alone.
So when it came time to pick a spouse, she met a nice nonmember man who was gold other than a complete non-believer, but he didn't stop her from going to church. In fact he was very supportive, just not interested himself. They were engaged to be married, still something just didn't seem right. In a conversation with her mother (who was completely innactive still) her mother said, "You know I always expected you to get married in the temple." This thought struck her. As she pondered she realized that she was just doing what she'd always done... The spiritual insight came to her that she was perpetuating the life she'd always had as a child--somehow she'd just seen her future activity in the church as a solitary activity--she would just keep going by herself as she'd always done.
On the same week she called off her engagement to this guy, she sang at a new convert's baptism. The boy had been a friend of hers in High School--this boy (now a young man) had spent five years trying to prove the church wrong--and finally realized it was true. She ended up marrying this fellow a year later in the temple... ...and then the real fun of their life began...
Anyhow good story... I probably just butchered it, too... :)
--Ray
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I'm not slow; I'm special. (Don't take it personally, everyone finds me offensive. Yet somehow I manage to live with myself.)
Yes, the "ugly man with money snags hot woman" is a common thing, I suppose. Women are into money that way, I guess.
I was a handsome feller when we got married. She often shows our wedding picture.
Seems like the more I make the uglier I get. How's that?
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no unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing... the truth of God will go forth till it has penetrated every website, sounded in every ear, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished and the great Jehovah shall say the work is done
Well, Mahonri, at least you've got one aspect improving.
I make less money than when I was in the military. Plus, I have many more wrinkles around my eyes and many more pounds around my middle. But I'm a lot happier.
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The ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation is the single most important skill that can be acquired in this life. - Julie Beck
My husband is a hottie :) He also looks many years younger than he is and is often hit on by 20 something's. The years have not been as good to me (I was fairly 'hot' when we were married) and I was afraid he might be disappointed or feel jipped. But he doesn't see 'hot' the same way some people do. He knows my heart and spirit and loves me more now than he did when I was a looker. I do see it in peoples faces sometimes though. When they meet my husband first they must think he has a very fine wife. THen when they meet me, I can see them thinking..."how'd she end up with him???".
I guess I'm just fascinated by how people get together and what attracts people to each other. I find it extra fascinating when a couple seems oddly matched to find out what makes them tick.
It is funny to know one person of a couple and then meet their spouse later on... I remember two horse trainer friends of mine - I'd known them for several months before I'd met their husbands. You kinda get this "image" in your head about their family... anyway, the one gal is quite cute and funny, etc. Her husband is, well... average at best. I was surprised. The other gal, on the bottom half of the looks scale we'll say, kinda masculine, kinda chubby, kinda likes to exaggerrate her abilities... anyway, her husband answered the door one time and I was like, "You have got. To be kidding." He was a large, in shape, handsome military fella. But they adore each other and it's all good.
Interesting topic tangent on how much people change after they get married... Do you feel like you've changed a lot physically since you got married? Better? Worse?
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Life is tough but it's tougher if you're stupid. -John Wayne
no unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing... the truth of God will go forth till it has penetrated every website, sounded in every ear, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished and the great Jehovah shall say the work is done
Because I ran into two old friends who are exactly as you describe.
I'm not going to go into all the "beauty on the inside, relative nature of...etc"
I'm talking about, as Coco stated, hotness. When I met these two friends, I remember thinking how attractive one was and looked forward to meeting the spouse who must also be fascinating to look at.
I had, in infact, already met the spouse and when I discovered they were wed, I dropped a jaw. It was so strange. THey are both wonderful, and have both always been uber popular, it's just that one is a babe the other is, well, not--and, fom what I understand, never has been.
It always make me kinda go, huh?
What I wonder about, and this is a genuine ponder, is if it ever bothers those involved? We can never know because they will never admit it unless in the throws of a divorce and then it doesn't count.
I know couples who are very focused on thier looks and bodies...what if one let it slide? Does the other one tell them to shape up? Assuming there is no medical condition causing the flabbiness, is it appropriate to say "You need to be healthy!!"
Does the less "hot" half ever feel intimidated? What if the "hottie" works in "hottie-infested" or glamorous workplace? Or if the "non-hottie" has the babe-co-workers does anyone notice?
These are the things I think about when I've recently eaten a full pound of english toffee.
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"My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle."
Yeah, I think sometimes those involved are probably bothered by it. When the man is the hottie, I'd say the woman might be - well... let me back up a sec. There was one couple I knew once that was in this situation, where the man was the hottie and the woman was well, not. At all. This man resembled a big, strapping cowboy kinda guy and his wife was short, fat and you really wouldn't ever notice her at all. He was so hot, in fact, that even though he was close to 50 years old, his home teachee who was a hottie and around 20, met him at the door in, well, not temple-approved attire, let's say. He didn't completely botch his life, but he didn't get outta there as soon as he should have, either. His wife didn't seem to really even be aware of how hot her husband was...
On the other hand, I think guys like it when their wives are hotter than they are. They think it somehow reflects on them, their manliness or something. Maybe it's just a knowing glance from one man to another, but I think there's a pride thing going on there. Men think their wife's hotness makes them look better somehow. Until they get cheated on, of course. Then they resent it and call them shallow and worldly. This happened in a Stake I used to be in. There were three sisters that were sort of in that midlife slump - when the kids are taking up all your time and you're starting to age and your husband hasn't started to age yet - they all went on this "get in shape" binge and all three ended up divorcing their husbands. I always wondered if their in shape husbands had told them to "shape up" or not.
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Life is tough but it's tougher if you're stupid. -John Wayne
I haven't made that observation myself. Is it because men think lowly of themselves? Is there a balance like was stated - "ugly man with money" becomes "average man"?
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Life is tough but it's tougher if you're stupid. -John Wayne
coco: I can attest to the fact that when I was single I was very conscientious of how others saw me with my dates, and that how a girl looked as almost more important to me at first. Men also tend to be very visual...
However I think if a man marries a girl, they get over that. Perhaps they get enough peer approval or something connects on a personality level, but something has to change. I think this because the act of marriage is not a "visual" event (at least for most men it isn't a big showy event... and if it is... then he's probably gay. :joking: ) but something that requires a great deal of thought and initiative on the guy's part.
I think a lot of women feel conscientious about their image for their husbands, but the truth is, that if the man married you, then he's already worked through all the body and image hang ups that he might have. Cuz otherwise they'd probably just marry someone else if he were really so shallow.
--Ray
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I'm not slow; I'm special. (Don't take it personally, everyone finds me offensive. Yet somehow I manage to live with myself.)
You think being a measly two years younger makes you a trophy husband?
I agree, ray. Hopefully men and women both work through whatever "problems" they have with their partner before they are married. Of course, the bedroom cannot be worked out as we do not believe in premarital sex. And yes, men tend to be visual, so there needs to be some kind of attraction there or they probably would never approach the woman in the first place. And some women tend to fall for money or prestige - "My husband is doctor" type thing, which can make them feel more important or something. (I'm not talking about you mahonri, so get over it. ) If there is not much else to the relationship, usually these end with time.
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Life is tough but it's tougher if you're stupid. -John Wayne
I think equally yoked is overemphasized myself. Focusing on where you feel like you're pulling the whole load can really tick you off inside. Focusing on serving the other person and helping to save their soul is better than considering yokage. (Is that a word? )
On the other hand, having had the experience of cutting loose the dead weight of a partner-ox that had no desire for spiritual things at all, being equally yoked with Church business - boy, if you have that in a marriage you better thank the Lord for that every single day. I think usually there is one spouse that is a bit more zealous than the other, but if you are attending meetings together and there is an absence of sabotage of spiritual teaching to the children, that's equal enough, I think.
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Life is tough but it's tougher if you're stupid. -John Wayne
I personally think my wife is hot! OTOH, she thinks she is extremely unattractive, doesn't believe me when I tell her. The problem with guys being visual and having a really hot looking wife is, umm...... Anyway.
What I have noticed about myself with other women I have had relationships with are that some were not really considered beautiful by wordly standards, but were beautiful to me. Frankly, I never gave a rat's rear end what other people think of me or who I am with. Never did figure if my wife thought I was good looking, I don't think I am, I guess if she thought so, that is fine.
I remember seeing a pic off the Internet entitled "Spot the Rich Guy", bunch of people around a pool, but one couple was a fat guy holding hands with some hottie in a bikini.
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Lo, there I see my mother, my sisters, my brothers Lo, there I see the line of my people back to the beginning Lo, they call to me, they bid me take my place among them In the halls of Valhalla, where the brave may live...forever
Okay, here's a question. Is it possible to have lust in a marriage? Lust, we know, is a sin - one of the seven deadly sins in fact. But does the fact that you're married elminate the term lust? The feelings are identical, but it's termed something else?
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Life is tough but it's tougher if you're stupid. -John Wayne
I hope it is okay to lust after your wife! I got married for three reasons, love, CK, and sex!
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Lo, there I see my mother, my sisters, my brothers Lo, there I see the line of my people back to the beginning Lo, they call to me, they bid me take my place among them In the halls of Valhalla, where the brave may live...forever
I'm a regular participant of spouse lusting, and no plans to reform.
Wish my other half suffered from such a malady.
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Lo, there I see my mother, my sisters, my brothers Lo, there I see the line of my people back to the beginning Lo, they call to me, they bid me take my place among them In the halls of Valhalla, where the brave may live...forever
Anyone under the age of married maturity not admitted without spousal consent. Umm, doesn't that rule out just about everybody on Bountiful. Guess we've all got spousal consent.
) If there is not much else to the relationship, usually these end with time.
...his and hers... 
I think usually there is one spouse that is a bit more zealous than the other, but if you are attending meetings together and there is an absence of sabotage of spiritual teaching to the children, that's equal enough, I think.
