Why We Need Guns

mirkwood · Senior Bucketkeeper

Why We Need Guns

Cat Herder · Understander of unimportant things

he he

rayb · Hot Air Balloon

While I find it hillarious that we continually discuss guns in the Non-food Preparedness section of the board, as though it were some Mormon doctrine we all accepted... I do think this post is better placed in the Humor section... as it involves Zombies, which are, as we all know, hillarious and a real hoot at parties. :)

--Ray

Cocobeem · Keeper of the Holy Grail

mirk's the mod. Don't mess with him.

rayb · Hot Air Balloon

I'm the humor mod, and feel a great deal of envy that any humor is going on anywhere on this board outside of the Humor section... where all humor is legally obligated to reside... the consequences of crossing the humor moderator are extremely severe... you may find your bed short-sheeted. You may find powdered sugar in your car's airconditioning vents... or any other assortment of childish pranks... muwahahahaha...

--Ray (drunk with power)

Cocobeem · Keeper of the Holy Grail

Wow. I think you just covered three of the deadly sins right in that one post.

rayb · Hot Air Balloon

Guns are horrible. We should ban them. Think of the Zombie-rights that are being violated left and right... due to this socially accepted form of violence. I stand for zombies everywhere and denounce Mirk as Zombophobic!!

--Ray

Cat Herder · Understander of unimportant things

rayb wrote:
...I stand for zombies everywhere...

I think that is highly commendable and applaud your courage!

It is best to stand for them now while still alive, because once you are dead and have become a zombie, you may find you also don't have a leg to stand on...

mirkwood · Senior Bucketkeeper

rayb wrote:
as though it were some Mormon doctrine we all accepted
--Ray

Dude, if you have not coverted to the idea yet you are headed to hell!!!!

BTW, how will YOU deal with the zombies when they come?

LoudmouthMormon · Profuse Pontificator

rayb wrote:

Guns are horrible. We should ban them. Think of the Zombie-rights that are being violated left and right... due to this socially accepted form of violence. I stand for zombies everywhere and denounce Mirk as Zombophobic!!

Ray is completely overlooking other completely safe and useful uses for guns.

Kitchen Gun

-- Edited by LoudmouthMormon at 14:17, 2007-10-29

mirkwood · Senior Bucketkeeper

Cocobeem · Keeper of the Holy Grail

I'm gettin' one!

rayb · Hot Air Balloon

The woman crying at the end was obviously a Zombie. Hee hee...

arbilad · Head Chef

Those were tears of joy, Ray.

Poncho29 · Senior Bucketkeeper

Kitchen Gun was tooooo funny!

Goodbye dirt! Bang! Bang! Bang!

Although I do have a question. What good is a gun on a zombie? You can't kill 'em! They're already dead! They're the undead! That's like trying to shoot a vampire!

-- Edited by Poncho29 at 05:39, 2007-10-30

Roper · Senior Bucketkeeper

Yeah. I'm thinkin a stick of dynamite strapped to an arrow a la Dukes of Hazard would be more effective. Lots of little undead chunks probably aren't as threatening.

mirkwood · Senior Bucketkeeper

Poncho29 wrote:

Although I do have a question. What good is a gun on a zombie?

12 gauge...hit 'em a few times and while it is messy, they will come apart.

LoudmouthMormon · Profuse Pontificator

You gotta shewt them zombies in the head! See, the difference 'twixt dead folk and zombies, is their brains got reactivated somehow. Well, the brain stem/reflex/hunger areas anyway.

So, when fighting zombies with guns, just keep two words in mind. Head, dead.

I thought everyone knew this...
LM

Valhalla · Profuse Pontificator

Funny everyone is talking about zombies and guns, my latest movie from Netflix is the original Dawn of the Dead. Zombies, guns, stuck in a shopping mall, doesn't get better than that for an TEOTWAWKI movie.

rayb · Hot Air Balloon

Perfect for the season... Dial Z for Zombies... :)

Cat Herder · Understander of unimportant things

I watched that masterpiece of the 1984 silver screen last night, Red Dawn, and thought of each and every one of you survivalist types...

So many continuity problems, I can't begin to talk about it. So, the question arises, what's the difference between zombies attacking and a Cuban/Nicaraugan/Soviet invasion?

Roper · Senior Bucketkeeper

Head, dead? Red, dead. Instead.

salesortonscom · Wise and Revered Master

Gee wiz Cat, everyone knows the answer to that. You have to shoot a zombie in the head whereas you can shoot a commie anywhere, preferably the crotch.

mirkwood · Senior Bucketkeeper

@ roper and salesortonscom

rayb · Hot Air Balloon

Not that I advocate Zombie mutilation, seeing as how I am NOT a zombophobe, but it should be noted that if you blow off a zombie's head, it's harder for it to eat your brain... Double gage shotguns, at close proximity or chainsaws at even closer promixity are often the choice zombie head removal surgeons.

arbilad · Head Chef

I would think that the only benefit would be to stop the motive force of a zombie, and the consensus is that any trauma to the zombie's own brain will do that. Technically, a .22 round to its brain would stop the zombie from moving. Whereas if it's still moving around, I don't care if it still has a jaw to eat my brains with or not - it would still use its hands to remove my brains for consumption. At that point I wouldn't care if it was successful in eating them or not; they would no longer be of any use to me.
Are there any zombologists amongst us?