I thought it might be fun to see how others would rewrite a poem. Would you make it longer? shorter? funnier? deeper? more ironic? change it completely?
Here's the concept: I'll post a poem I'm not emotionally attached to. You are all challenged to rewrite it however you want. After a few people rewrite this first poem, I'll tag someone else who will post a poem and tag another person after a few rewrites. And on it goes like that.
Here goes:
Hotdogs, burgers, and some fries, Soda, popcorn tell me lies; Say you'll love me very right, and won't make my pants too tight.
Hotdogs, burgers, and some fries, Promise to stay off my thighs.
-- Edited by hiccups at 17:48, 2007-10-24
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"The promptings of the Holy Ghost will always be sufficient for our needs if we keep to the covenant path. Our path is uphill most days, but the help we receive for the climb is literally divine." --Elaine S. Dalton
Fastfood taste good, dude. you can down hotdogs, hamburgers and fries in nothing flat. and if you biggie size them, you may get fat i don't like to be so blunt, but if you gorge you will not be a runt.
Yay! I had given up this thread for dead. Ok, Zealia, I was gonna wait for a couple rewrites, but I don't think I'm gonna get them off my silly starter poem. Go ahead and post a new poem for us (anyone?) to rewrite.
__________________
"The promptings of the Holy Ghost will always be sufficient for our needs if we keep to the covenant path. Our path is uphill most days, but the help we receive for the climb is literally divine." --Elaine S. Dalton
Oh, me of little faith. It's still to you, Z. I'm looking forward to what you come up with for us.
__________________
"The promptings of the Holy Ghost will always be sufficient for our needs if we keep to the covenant path. Our path is uphill most days, but the help we receive for the climb is literally divine." --Elaine S. Dalton
Hiccups, this is fun! Nita, I loved it! Here is my work to be rewritten All has become a haze. I am living in a maze. Forward, back and side to side are obstactles for me to topple.
here is my rewrite of your last poem, i know most of mine doesn't rhyme:
All has become a haze, Life has hidden surprises wherever I turn Sometimes I think I am living in a maze. Upward, Downward, Forward, backward, side to side, round about and upside down. All around are obstactles for me to climb and conquer! Conquer I will, I will get through Life's Master Maze I will get through it, yes I will And so will you So will we all With smiles on on our face, Sweat in our pores Even though sometimes our soul will sigh In the end we hopefully will gaze With tears of joy As we look back on how we did During Life's Master Maze.
Struggling, searching, seeking lost in the darkness, I push against the unyielding walls that limit and imprison me.
__________________
"The promptings of the Holy Ghost will always be sufficient for our needs if we keep to the covenant path. Our path is uphill most days, but the help we receive for the climb is literally divine." --Elaine S. Dalton
I wrote a very small poem once that goes.... Self-fullfilling prophesies are like breaking through walls. Words can be powerful that make you feel small.
Yay! I had given up this thread for dead. Ok, Zealia, I was gonna wait for a couple rewrites, but I don't think I'm gonna get them off my silly starter poem. Go ahead and post a new poem for us (anyone?) to rewrite.
