We never think it will happen to us. I'm talking about your spouse unexpectedly and suddenly passing away. Are your finances in order? Do you even have a clue what you'd do in a situation like this? Do you even know where all the important paperwork is? How could you care for your children or other responsibilities? Would you be able to get health insurance and enough money to get by? Do you have even a sketchy plan if this were to happen to you?
Close friend of the family being diagnosed with cancer in too many organs to list brought this thought on... thought it might be something to consider in one's overall preparedness plan.
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Life is tough but it's tougher if you're stupid. -John Wayne
Most of your questions are from the point of view of the wife (gee, I wonder why?). Here are a few that I've considered: Would I continue to homeschool the children? Would I seek to remarry quickly in order to have someone take care of the children, especially the little one? How much of the slack of household chores could my 12 year old pick up?
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If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of freedom, go from us in peace. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen! - Samuel Adams
My mother was widowed at a very young age, and so naturally I worried that the same thing would happen to me. After seven years of obsessing about it, I finally sat down and planned out what I would do if it happened. I figured out how much life insurance I would need to make ends meet until the kids were grown, etc. Making those plans freed me from a lot of the anxiety.
Since I'm the CFO of the family, dilbert is the one who would be at a bit of a loss about records. Sometimes I wonder if he knows where all the passwords and account info is kept?
So does dilbert have life insurance on you... if you were to follow your father and die young?
My wife won't let me buy life insurance for her because her patriarchal blessing says she'll have a long life.
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no unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing... the truth of God will go forth till it has penetrated every website, sounded in every ear, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished and the great Jehovah shall say the work is done
Actually we are pretty sure it WILL happen to us, and sooner rather than later... We have planned for the eventuality... (in both directions, just cause hubby insisted...) But the likelihood is that hubby will outlive me...
My kids have been instructed to help dad find someone to spend the rest of his life with and I kinda' hope I get to assist... cause I would hate for him to be so lonely. He is something of a "non-socialite", to put a generous spin on it... He would isolate himself... He is the first person to admit this...
We have planned for everything except what you cannot plan for... the personal feelings of loss... You never can completely prepare for that... Having gone through the loss of a beloved spouse through death with friends and family... I can just say... I selfishly hope and pray I never have to face it...
Some sort of life insurance policy is always a good idea especially on the primary breadwinner. It can make the difference between mom being able to stay home and raise the kids until they are out of highschool or mom having to work two jobs and never being around.
An insurance policy can also mean the difference in whether the surviving spouse and kids are able to keep the home or will have a hefty debt over their head in addition to losing the primary breadwinner or primary nurturer.
An insurance salesman once told us that he liked to see policies of like 10x the annual salary of the primary breadwinner in the household (e.g. husband) so that the surviving spouse can go on living in a fully paid home following the lifestyle accustomed to for several years while the family normalizes again after the loss of the primary breadwinner.
That can get pretty expensive if you don't have the means to pay that sort of premium, but when it comes to dollar amount of coverage, the more the better (according to what you can afford) is wise to set up. At least enough to pay off any outstanding mortgage and other debt for the surviving spouse and a couple years worth of salary if the insurance principle is all the family has to live off of for a while. And if you don't need to live off the insurance principle, invest it in a safe bond based investment vehicle where you can get monthly interest dividends.
Mahonri, tell your wife that she is putting you at a disadvantage if she dies and the family has no insurance policy on her. You will have to pay someone to take care of any kids still at home who can't take care of themselves (e.g. daycare), housekeeping, etc. All the things she brings to and provides the family (aside from being your loving spouse) have a true economic cost tied to it. Plus, if something were to happen to both of you, the kids would be far better off by having that much more inheritence to divide amongst themselves with both parents covered under life insurance.
I've got Poncho on a couple insurance policies, and I'm insured for significantly more on the same plans. We probably need to upgrade and get more. We need to get our finances in order better first, and we need to get wills created. And there is all that retirement stuff you have to think about... and how to finance or help finance kids schooling and missions...
Sometimes, it really feels like we're hosed when it comes to all the financial stuff...
Neither of us like to think about doing all that when comparing our situation to that of others (including family members), but out of the four parents between us, we lost three of them before they hit their mid-sixties. And maybe things won't be perfect and our kids may have to struggle (and not live the life of Reily) if I follow my parents' lead and die before attaining retirement age, but hopefully they won't be left with the burden of our debts at least.
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It seems to me the only thing you've learned is that Caesar is a "salad dressing dude."
We never think it will happen to us. I'm talking about your spouse unexpectedly and suddenly passing away. Are your finances in order? Do you even have a clue what you'd do in a situation like this? Do you even know where all the important paperwork is? How could you care for your children or other responsibilities? Would you be able to get health insurance and enough money to get by? Do you have even a sketchy plan if this were to happen to you? something to consider in one's overall preparedness plan.
I'm good! I know EXACTLY how to handle living without a spouse's income. 'Course I'm fortunate that I don't have kids to worry about...
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It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
BTW, financial stuff is a pet discussion of mine. I second all those who are saying to get sufficient/generous life insurance. Also, if your employer provides it, be sure to get disability insurance as well (even if you're healthy). You're more likely to suffer a disability than actually die. If you're self employed, you should look into finding a disability plan as well as some kind of business income loss plan.
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It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
Cool - this is kind of like a PLMPI (Personal 'is Loudmouth Mormon Prepared' Interview)
"Are your finances in order?" Yes. If she goes, she's insured enough to allow me to stay home for 5-ish years. Probably couldn't continue homeschooling. If I go, she's set for 10-25 years (depending on how I die), allowing her to keep homeschooling.
"Do you even have a clue what you'd do in a situation like this?" I'm a finance major - forecasting potential situations is 2nd nature. She's not - but we've discussed various scenarios. The list of things to do include 1) print out that MSMoney report that shows all our finances, and 2) go to a financial planner and let them help you.
"Do you even know where all the important paperwork is?" Everything necessary is either in my filing cabinet, or in the firebox in the basement. It'll take effort on her part to sort through it and learn what's important, but yes, it's all there.
"How could you care for your children or other responsibilities?" Financially, I'm set. I would have to learn to do hair, and talk about woman things, which terrifies me but I could do it. Mamma is set to raise them right, but she'd have to learn about finances, and that terrifies me too, but not near as much as talking about periods and training bras and stuff.
"Would you be able to get health insurance and enough money to get by?" Insurance: I could, she probably couldn't. That could be really bad.
We've identified who we want raising our kids, and they are listed as contingent beneficiaries on our life insurance/401k/ira/etc. Which means if the whole LM family died in a car wreck, they'd just get a check for hundreds of thousands of dollars, which is kind of funny to think about in a way.
We take a great deal of comfort, and feel peace that we've got pretty good answers to all these questions. I wholeheartedly recommend y'all get good answers if you are missing any.
LM
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And I'd discuss the holy books with the learned men, seven hours every day. That would be the sweetest thing of all.
Yeah, if MrCoco dies, I don't know HOW I'm gonna' afford a housekeeper... Too bad I'm joking.
I guess life insurance and safety from debt seems to be the underlining number one concern here. I guess I would agree. We have a modest amount (far from 10x salary) of life insurance but we are debt-free, so that balances things out.
I also keep my "foot in the door" with my job, working about once a week, so that if something happens I can immediately move up to 20 hrs./week which gives me full benefits. Then again, if MrCoco dies, I think the gubment may still pay all our benefits anyway...
Another thing I'd do is rent a ginormous dumpster and start clearing out the packratedness...
And keep the number to a good handyman on the fridge...
And go to ponch for lots of valium...
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Life is tough but it's tougher if you're stupid. -John Wayne
How would a stock market crash, for example, affect your life insurance? Prudential doens't just have your life insurance money sitting there... in the envelope already to mail out, do they? Could a Depression (capital D) keep us from our "reserves" or our "insurance" monies that we would be counting on to survive?
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Life is tough but it's tougher if you're stupid. -John Wayne
'Course I'm fortunate that I don't have kids to worry about...
Too bad I'm joking. 
