Is Anger always wrong?

Poncho29 · Senior Bucketkeeper

RE: Is Anger always wrong?

Cocobeem · Keeper of the Holy Grail

Maybe part of it boils down to the idea that you shouldn't be more concerned about fixing what's "outside" you than what's "inside" you. Anger is truly destructive. It damns your progression. Whether others respect our boundaries or shape up... I mean, we can try, but there's no telling what others may do. But we certainly can control our own thoughts and actions.

Anger I think can be a great teacher. Once we can control our *emotions* we can begin to control our thoughts.

Jen · Senior Bucketkeeper

You people are really ticking me off.

beefche · Profuse Pontificator

The best way I know to define it is in terms of self-protection and boundaries. When a country's boundaries are crossed, when it is threatened, an angry response is normal and expected. Likewise, if someone does something threatening to the well-being of me and mine, I think an angry, defensive response is appropriate. Now, that doesn't mean uncontrolled anger, and it doesn't mean repressed grudges, and it doesn't mean an undying hatred. It means that I take whatever means are necessary to protect myself and those I care for.

An example: my mother has an unfortunate favoritism for my oldest child. She feels an affinity to her, and it shows. Her gifts to DD1 are more expensive, more thoughtful, and more creative than the gifts the other children receive. She also spends more time and attention on DD1. This makes me angry. I see potential here for hurt, both to my oldest and to the other children. And I don't think that the favored status that I had as a child in my own family did me any favors, or my siblings. So I have made it clear to my mother that this behavior is not acceptable--I have stated my boundaries clearly and calmly. She has continued to push those boundaries. So I have made clear to her that there are consequences when my boundaries are not honored. It really is almost like a country whose airspace is being flown into by an aggressive neighbor.

If I hadn't expressed my feelings to my mother, then they would have festered, and that would not be good for me. And the threatening behavior would have continued. So a healthy outlet for my anger is to clearly define my boundaries.

What about turning the other cheek? I think that applies for minor slights. The person who cuts me off in traffic, the harsh word said in the heat of the moment by a spouse--these things are things that I need to just let wash over me--they might make me angry for a moment, but they are not worth holding on to.

Yeah, I think it is a matter of definition. I think your scenario shows an angry reaction, but a thoughtful response. I'm guessing that you didn't define the boundaries with your mother with yelling, feelings of anger/hatred, cursing, or other outside evidences of anger. So, although you may have felt anger at first, you channeled that anger into a positive response. I think that is what everyone here has been saying. What we do with that anger is what's important.

rayb · Hot Air Balloon

Is aggression anger?

beefche · Profuse Pontificator

aggression:

1.	the action of a state in violating by force the rights of another state, particularly its territorial rights; an unprovoked offensive, attack, invasion, or the like: The army is prepared to stop any foreign aggression.

2.	any offensive action, attack, or procedure; an inroad or encroachment: an aggression upon one's rights.

3.	the practice of making assaults or attacks; offensive action in general.

4.	Psychiatry. overt or suppressed hostility, either innate or resulting from continued frustration and directed outward or against oneself.

Roper · Senior Bucketkeeper

I don't have anything of value to contribute to an academic treatment and scriptural analysis of the subject.

What I can contribute are my conclusions about my own experiences with anger.

I have had feelings of anger and held them in. I have had feelings of anger and let them out. I have allowed myself to become angry at the intents, words, actions of others. I have used anger as a tool to accomplish something I wanted.

In every case, anger was a choice. Judging by the fruits that came from those choices, I must state that I have regretted choosing anger in every case. I must also state that in every case I can recall, an approach other than anger would have served much better.

rayb · Hot Air Balloon

Roper: Are you sure you're not Yoda?

PollyAnna · Senior Bucketkeeper

I am beginning to believe that is not a question... he must be...

........

Cat Herder · Understander of unimportant things

{Imagining Roper's Chuck Norris-ish aspect combined with Yoda... result, little green guy with rugged bearded face that can roundhouse kick while teaching his padawon learners

}

Janey · Senior Member

Of course he's not Yoda! If he was Yoda, his first sentence would have read, "Nothing of value have I to contribute if an academic and scriptural treatment you want."