The New Saloon

salesortonscom · Wise and Revered Master

The New Saloon

bokbadok · Senior Bucketkeeper

What about girly girls? Go ahead and post the sign, Jason. No Girls Allowed!

salesortonscom · Wise and Revered Master

Girls are allowed as long as there's no interferin'

Ros · Senior Member

What about manly-girls?

Ros · Senior Member

Hey! When did I become a "senior member?"

I resent the implication....

Ros · Senior Member

...and I prefer Ironport.

Euphrasie · Senior Bucketkeeper

Oh oh...I'm wearing a pink shirt. Do I hafta take it off before I come in?

Good thing I layered today...

No stage? I guess I'll have to get up on the table then...

Oh you can search far and wide,
You can drink the whole town dry.
But you'll never find a beer so brown
As the one we drink in our hometown.
You can keep your fancy ales.
You can drink em by the flagon.
But the only brew for the brave and true . . .
Comes from the Green Dragon!

-- Edited by Euphrasie at 11:22, 2007-09-11

Jen · Senior Bucketkeeper

Can I have a Dr. Pepper? Full sugar, caffienated, and heavy on the crushed ice, please!

salesortonscom · Wise and Revered Master

That's the spirit Euph! And the Sasparillas do come in pints!

Euphrasie · Senior Bucketkeeper

I'm getting one!

salesortonscom · Wise and Revered Master

Two pints coming up!

salesortonscom · Wise and Revered Master

I've installed a closed circuit T.V. system so we can watch the girly men's new reality show, "When White Tigers Attack Girly Men on Ice" currently being filmed in the other saloon. The house encourages friendly wagering on who the first victim will be. I'm also installing some Pachinko machines.

Cat Herder · Understander of unimportant things

Whose up for a game of darts? {picks up assorted tomahawks and bowie knives while looking with eager anticipation at picture of Josh Groban taped to dart board...}

Poncho29 · Senior Bucketkeeper

Rolling, rolling, rolling, keep those doggies rolling...rawhide!

arbilad · Head Chef

Cat Herder wrote:

Whose up for a game of darts? {picks up assorted tomahawks and bowie knives while looking with eager anticipation at picture of Josh Groban taped to dart board...}

Those are sissy darts. Didn't you see the rack of chainsaws that Jason put next to the dart board?

salesortonscom · Wise and Revered Master

Hmmmm Chainsaws.........Nature's way of thinning the herd of girly men......

Cat Herder · Understander of unimportant things

They ain't sissy darts! {deftly flings one just to the right of Arbi's hat}

arbilad · Head Chef

Cat Herder wrote:

They ain't sissy darts! {deftly flings one just to the right of Arbi's hat}

Aha! Hidden inside my tin foil hat are powerful electromagnets! Your hatchets will get nowhere near!

Euphrasie · Senior Bucketkeeper

Now that's worth a wager. Who wants to bet arbi's magnets will propel a knife back at Cat before he realizes the stone tomahawks wouldn't be affected?

Poncho29 · Senior Bucketkeeper

I'm bettin' they'll both be nailed in the crossfire.

Cocobeem · Keeper of the Holy Grail

(yells from the doorway-)

Are you gonna' come back and fix the old saloon or are you gonna' run away like a yellow-bellied spineless quitter?!?

Cat Herder · Understander of unimportant things

(looks around to see who has the Marty McFly reaction...)

Euphrasie · Senior Bucketkeeper

Cocobeem wrote:
Are you gonna' come back and fix the old saloon or are you gonna' run away like a yellow-bellied spineless quitter?!?

...depends.

mirkwood · Senior Bucketkeeper

Bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang....reloads....whose buying me a Diet Coke?

Poncho29 · Senior Bucketkeeper

Have a diet coke on me Mirk. BTW you missed the fellar hiding behind the barrel in the corner.

mirkwood · Senior Bucketkeeper

Nah...just reloadin'....

hiccups · Future Queen in Zion

mirkwood wrote:

Bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang....reloads....whose buying me a Diet Coke?

I'm pretty sure that last guy you shot would have bought you your Coke if you'd given him the option instead of shooting him. biggrin

salesortonscom · Wise and Revered Master

Mirk, were those the hollow points or the Winchester Silver Tips you were using?

arbilad · Head Chef

I prefer the phased plasma rifle in the 40 watt range.

Poncho29 · Senior Bucketkeeper

So I guess BB guns is are of the question?

I suppose y'all's will wanna be saving them for the girlie, sissy saloon.

Would it make a difference if I told ya I got shot by a BB gun once? By my own brother?
And I didn't even cry like a girl?

-- Edited by Poncho29 at 10:15, 2007-09-12

salesortonscom · Wise and Revered Master

I hereby initiate the first New Saloon BB Gun Fight! Take cover!!!!!!!

Cocobeem · Keeper of the Holy Grail

*first to nail sales in the @ss*

Yellow-bellied quitter!

salesortonscom · Wise and Revered Master

Arghhhhhhhhh!!!! I didn't say "go" yet! Coco gets a penalty slap.

Poncho29 · Senior Bucketkeeper

Awww quit whinin' ya big baby! Coco nailed ya. You did say "Take cover."

salesortonscom · Wise and Revered Master

Go!

Cat Herder · Understander of unimportant things

I prefer the phased plasma rifle in the 40 watt range.

I prefer using a combination of jedi force pushes to just kind of cause the varmint to end up without solid ground below him at the end... thus, he ends up doing a Wylie E. Coyote vs. gravity free fall and saves me my ammo.

Very entertaining when the varmint is in the midst of a force jump...

arbilad · Head Chef

::Throws some BBs at Jason while firing his phased plasma rifle at him::

PollyAnna · Senior Bucketkeeper

KABOOM! BANG! BOINK! (throws BIG stink bomb into the NEW saloon...) Serves ya' right, ya' traitors!

-- Edited by PollyAnna at 12:27, 2007-09-12

salesortonscom · Wise and Revered Master

IT BURNS!!!! IT BURNS!!!!!!

PollyAnna · Senior Bucketkeeper

MUAWHAHAHA!

Cat Herder · Understander of unimportant things

I reckon it's time fer ya to be a mosying along, Missy! We don't take kindly to making this place smell like some fancy parfyum counter!

(uses red neck jedi push power to lift and push Polly out the swinging doors... hey, it ain't polite to push a lady out a winder, asides the fact we don't want to break these new ornate winders as they was just installed after the long perilous trip from Saint Loui-ey.)

salesortonscom · Wise and Revered Master

Jason straps on his Spartan II MJOLNIR Armor ( http://www.mjolnirarmor.com/what-is-mjolnir-armor.shtml )and slides a clip into his Battle Rifle. The shield indicator of the armor flashes for a moment as a BB rochocettes into him. He can only imagine the look on Arbi's face when he realizes his plasma rifle is woefully not up to the task. "Let's Finish the Fight!" Jason yells as he steps out from cover and begins squeezing off tri-bursts from the Battle Rifle http://the-junkyard.net/images/weapons/halo2/battle_rifle.jpg .

Poncho29 · Senior Bucketkeeper

You go Rambo.

mirkwood · Senior Bucketkeeper

hiccups wrote:

mirkwood wrote:

Bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang....reloads....whose buying me a Diet Coke?

I'm pretty sure that last guy you shot would have bought you your Coke if you'd given him the option instead of shooting him.

Yea, I ordered a Diet Coke not a Coke...big bad mistake!!!

mirkwood · Senior Bucketkeeper

salesortonscom wrote:

Mirk, were those the hollow points or the Winchester Silver Tips you were using?

Federal Tactical Bonded in 9mm

http://www.le.atk.com/Interior.asp?section=1&page=pages/federal/fed_pistol_tatical.asp

mirkwood · Senior Bucketkeeper

Cocobeem wrote:

*first to nail sales in the @ss*

Yellow-bellied quitter!

Shoots coco in the ass when she turns around to shoot at the saloon owner....

Cocobeem · Keeper of the Holy Grail

*runs out to check Kevlar pantaloons*

fear of shiz · Profuse Pontificator

arbilad wrote:

Aha! Hidden inside my tin foil hat are powerful electromagnets! Your hatchets will get nowhere near!

I knew you wore one of those! biggrin evileye

salesortonscom · Wise and Revered Master

Cease Fire! Cease Fire! Cease Fire! I have an announcement to make. I've hired the Indian Chief from the John Wayne classic movie, McClintock to hang out in our manlier Saloon. He's older now and sober but he promises to do his famous lines from the movie whenever there's a brawl for only some peanuts and free Sasparillas. So give a whirl chief!

"Great party McClintock! Where's the whisky?"

Thanks chief, you can take a break now!

Today were celebrating that manliest of men Fess Parker who portrayed both Daniel Boone and David Crocket.

1/2 price on lemonade for the next hour for everyone who can tell the bar ikeep in 5 words or less why Fess Parker is so manly!

Cat Herder · Understander of unimportant things

Cuz he's a real man!