Okay, but if you feel like you personally don't fit in... what exactly do you tell a family that's innactive?

Come to church... it'll be awkward, and you'll feel like a loner... Some of the members will exclude you, and you're probably going to see some really weird stuff that you'd never even dream of if you stayed home, but come anyway! Jesus wants you to experience this...

hm... come to think of it, that actually doesn't sound that bad...
 
--Ray

yeah, there is that advantage... So you try to create the branch within a ward approach? Just come to church and hang out with me... everyone else may be crazy, but I'm not! ;)

--Ray

Well one thing one might attempt is to fellowship the members who actually come to church, so that they're a bit more ... err... normal... :)

One thing I do in regarding hometeaching that i've seen work, is to invite a random brother from the ward to attend visits with me, when my partner's unavailable. Often they end up having more in common with the person I visit than I do...

I have to admit that it's easier to help others understand the weirdness in your ward, if you know the weirdos and why they do what they do... generally speaking there's a reason behind it... one that you just have yet to discover... of course that comes fraught with interesting experiences... but what the heck...

Anyone else have any ideas or answers to my evil questions?

--Ray

Well, I probably shouldn't post in this thread today given my mood, but what the heck.

I feel like the idea of times and seasons of life applies. I'm just coming out of a season where I didn't have a lot to give outside of my own family. (I hope I'm coming out of it. I need to; it's time.)

So, I'll let you know when I have anything to report.

what a SURPRISE!?!?!?!?!?

yeah... but Ray's are only IRRITATING!

good point!

hee hee... I'm such a naughty boy... but yeah, this whole thread is something of a bait and switch...

I mean if you don't like your ward... OF COURSE you're probably not gonna be the best missionary...

--Ray

If you've ever watched Pokemon, you'd know that my Avatar is perfect for my tendency to lay down traps... most of the time they only trigger on me... and the most creative trap I tend to come up with is the covered pit... :)

--Ray

I have been very blessed that most of the wards I have been in I have felt a part of. I think there are 2 reasons for this: 1) HF knows that I do best under circumstances like these and 2) I kind of socially 'take charge' and express love for so many people that most people can't HELP but like me, at least a little. Which is weird because in general I have had the opposite experience at jobs -- there I try to love people, but it weirds people out and they dislike me more. At least peers -- those I serve tend to like me.

ANYway, I still know that many people don't feel included, even in my current awesome ward. I still work on fellowshipping, with 2 goals in mind: 1) bringing the person closer to Christ so they gain enough of a testimony that they can go 'on their own' and 2) even if no one else will be their friend, *I* will do it. That has to count for something.

The reason I do this, I guess, is because of a ward I hated. It was a singles' ward where the expectations were so low that the Spirit was almost non-existent and the people were so busy with the meat market that there was no way I could fit in. It really tried my testimony, because I moved there right after being in a family ward in college that was so spiritually and socially wonderful that I still think the Celestial kingdom will be like that ward. But upon reflection and discussing the matter in detail with my Heavenly Father, I realized that I had to go for Him, not for myself or the social aspects or anything like that. I couldn't lean on the strength my friends gave me. It was ridiculously hard still, though, and I realized that some people still couldn't make it, so I have tried to help make it so that no one feels so excluded and devoid of the Spirit. And like the little girl said when she was throwing starfish back into the sea and was told she couldn't possibly make a difference because there were too many, "it makes a difference to the ones I CAN help."

umm....I like cows?

Doesn't it say in the scriptures that we are a "peculiar people"? Of course Mormons are weird! With a world that is degrading so rapidly, is it really a shock that a lot of Mormons seem socially awkward? I'd rather see a socially awkward person trying really hard to be a good person, than to judge them when I really can't do any better.

When our student ward boundaries were re-done about 2 years ago, our ward boundaries were quite unique. There was a small square on the map close to campus, and the rest of the ward was far north. Because of the 25 minute minimum drive between the two, the ward became really segregated. We had a blast on the south side, and they had a blast on the north side. However, we knew something was wrong, so we made a few friends with the people from the north. Yes, they live with their parents, and yes they have known the other northerners since kindergarten, but we were actually able to make a few good friends. They do live differently, and are different because of it, and it's hard to walk up to the girls who look like Barbie and think that they'd even listen to a frizzy red-head, but by the time I was married, I would get at least smiles and hellos from almost all of the Barbies. And a few would even strike up conversation with me once in awhile.

If you are walking around and don't say hi to people, you can't really expect people to walk around and say hi to you. My good friend Amanda taught me that lesson in high school when I was depressed and thought that nobody liked me and nobody even noticed that I existed. Amazingly enough, they did hear me when I said hi, and I usually got at least a smile back. And after saying hi to people in the same places in the hallways day after day, they would even catch me to say hi before I caught them. I was amazingly surprised.

Also, being a ward missionary taught me that I could find some really good friends in unsuspecting places, but sometimes it would be even better if I hooked them up with people with other similar interests. Even though I was their only friend when they first started coming, because I was able to introduce them to people that would be easier to get along with (you know when you don't really have much in common how conversations don't flow as well as you'd like), and it helped that I knew about these people who will never be a bosom buddy, but are definite friendly acquaintances.

Bosom buddies don't often come in dozens. They are few and far between. But sometimes you just have to enjoy a lot of pleasant and friendly acquaintances whom you can have a good time with even if you can't confide every single secret. The secret to making friends is to not be afraid to show them who you are. Make the cheesy jokes that pop into your head, and don't be insecure about it. You don't have to wear your personality out on your shoulder so everyone has to partake, just let it come out naturally, and you'll find that people really do like you for who you are. And even if it's not going to be a lasting friendship, just let yourself enjoy it while it's there.

I guess those are random thoughts...I'm a random person and should really be getting to my Mechanics of Fluids and/or Solids of Mechanics homework...

Does there need to be a reason?