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rayb


Hot Air Balloon

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Naked Neighbors...
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I have a neighbor who allows her prepubescent daughter to wear some of the most immodest outfits known to mankind. My wife is afraid to make waves, and often doesn't say anything, but I try to communicate to this girl (we'll call her Sally) that she's not welcome in my house if she wears outfits like she was the other day.

I have four daughters. I am very concerned about what their friends consider permissible. To make matters worse, my youngest (Hannah, ahem) has been known to get naked at the neighbor's house... she once got naked with the boy her age, and they pooped in the neighbor's yard. (I disapproved of the naked part... the pooping was funny.) We've asked our neighbor and my daughter to keep the clothes on...

The neighbor lady however is something of a hippy-chick, and she's made comments bout how "beautiful" the naked body is... and how "beautiful" her daughter Sally's body is... and honestly I think she dresses Sally in slutty outfits because she's trying to live out her lost spent youth.

Anyhow... that a parent would talk that way about their child... well... it kinda creeped me out...  further I'm sad for the child, she seems to be destined to be all screwed up, fixated upon outward appearances... sally's a really nice girl too... loves to come to church, and even asked her parents if they died, if she could come live with us... I sometimes think she's hungry to feel the Spirit that's in our home... and I don't want to ban her from the home, but her mother continues to dress her in ridiculous outfits (the type with no back, a scrap of cloth... etc... )

Maybe I should get some all-purpose full-body smocks that my neighbor's kids can wear when they come over to play. biggrin.gif

--Ray



-- Edited by rayb at 13:07, 2007-08-15

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arbilad


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Popular culture is teaching young girls to act, dress, and think like sluts. I don't have any daughters, but it must be hard to raise them in today's world, especially with role models like this.

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Poncho29


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We feel your pain Ray! I don't know how old your oldest daughter is, but trying to find clothes that are modest for our girls is a challenge these days. Our oldest daughter has no desire to dress trashy and is very modest conscious. Our 10 year old on the other hand tries to remain modest for the most part, but she is always trying to push the limits. It doesn't help that she has a friend across the street who keeps giving us her old hand-me-downs and most of them are less than modest.
I'm sorry but I have a problem with dressing my little girls like Brittany Spears, or Lindsay Lohan or some of the other trashy "role models" out these days.
As for the naked neighbor- don't know what to tell you about that one except try working on the child. Maybe if you explain to the little girl how you guys feel about how a young girl dresses in a way she can appreciate then your influence might rub off on her and maybe rub off on her parents a little. If this little girl enjoys spending time with your family so much your influence may go farther than you think. Peer pressure, subtle or direct goes a long way, both the good and bad.

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Hoss Cartwright


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rayb wrote:

Maybe I should get some all-purpose full-body smocks that my neighbor's kids can wear when they come over to play. biggrin.gif

Sounds like a great idea.  Actually, at this point, her mother is probably dressing her that way and letting her come over just to spite you.

Perhaps you could have your wife point out distinctly what kind of attire is allowed at your house.  The next time, she comes over inappropriately attired either send her home to change, or offer to lend her some appropriate clothing.

All the while, be sure she knows that she is more than welcome to visit, if she is appropriately attired.

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rayb


Hot Air Balloon

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Sally's about 9 years old. My oldest is daughter is turning 11 in a couple months, and she's the same age as my second. It amazes me how naive my neighbor is about how other people might view her tendency to dress her daughter in trashy outfits.

I mean, is she asking her to get pregnant at age 14!?

I've had her put on one of my daughter's teeshirts when she's been over. I can tell that she, herself, is not comfortable in the outfit, when I'm around, because she holds her hands over herself, and tries to make the tiny cloth stretch and cover more than it should.

I don't want to come across as some pervert, either... but I don't see how it would be appropriate for my kids, and I care about this girl.

--Ray


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Cocobeem


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Maybe you could approach the mom with some kind of "we're trying to raise moral kids and it's really hard in our times" speech and talk about things in general... you monitor tv shows, you don't allow bad language, etc. and slip in the modesty issue as part of the whole...? I don't know. I do know that my 4yo, if you want to talk physique, if there was a vitruvian 4 year old, she would be it. MrCoco and I talk about how athletic she is and speculate at all the medals she'll win at the Olympics... if she could just get over her fear of competition... but that's a whole nother story. I'm probably overboard when it comes to modesty, even with babies - no "sundresses" or anything like that. But perhaps you could talk to your neighbor as an "ally" and let her know you are approaching the difficult years... you'd like to be on the same page. The girls are great friends and spend a lot of time together... You'd appreciate them telling you if your daughters are using bad language or drinking or whatever... like you're on the same team and you have the same goals. Maybe she'll like that or maybe she won't but it might at least let you know more where she's coming from.

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salesortonscom


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Dude!! Your kid took a dump in the neighbors yard!! That is so cool! This is why I'm glad I live in the country in an isolated area. This stuff doesn't seem so close to home when it isn't next door. I'd stick with talks with your kids while the girl is at your house. If she's a smart kid she'll cover up when she comes over if she knows that's what you guys want. Sounds like she has a lot of respect for you guys and she still young enough that it isn't a rebellion deal, she probably just doesn't know any better. Talk about it, model the correct behavior, and see if she doesn't make the changes. I don't think talking to the parent would be very productive.

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Hoss Cartwright


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rayb wrote:
I don't want to come across as some pervert, either...
That's why I suggested you have your wife offer the T-shirt and give her the modesty lessons.



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Cocobeem


Keeper of the Holy Grail

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Actually, this might be an approach to look at... Next time neighbor mom brings up how beautiful the human body is and her girl's in particular, you could let out a low, deep sigh and remark, "Boy, you're not kidding." Wonder what she'd do...?

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salesortonscom


Wise and Revered Master

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Restraining Order? If there's one thing hippie parents understand it's an attourney!

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Jason
Homestar Runner


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The other day saw me and my 6 yr old daughter sitting in a doctor's office, reading a "people" magazine, and playing the "Modest/Not Modest" game. Man, how cool is that. If she can't stay oblivious to other people's looks her whole life, I hope she matures from 'oblivious' to 'could care less'.



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rayb


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We've played that game before, HSR!

I like to call it the, "Confident Daughter of God who cherishes herself and the sacred gift of her body, Or the girl with low selfesteem who tells the world she's a piece of human garbage" game.

:) Okay not really... but onetime while walking with my kids at a University street fair (decidedly not a thing to take small children to... don't ask... sigh...) in Seattle, we passed a group of student activists who'd engaged in all sorts of acts of self-mutilation and experimental clothing, I communicated as much...

"Don't worry, girls, they don't know they're daughters of God."

--Ray

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salesortonscom


Wise and Revered Master

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Must remember......University Street Fair......Poor Selection of Brains.........

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Cat Herder


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One of my apartments on my mission had a hallway going through the middle of it to another apartment (in other words, the private bedroom was seperated from the private kitchen and private bathroom by a common hallway). The other apartment was inhabited by a youngish unmarried couple. We always made sure we had our doors closed and locked to maintain privacy. One day, in the summertime, we had come home for lunch. Wasn't unusual to expect glimpsing folks sunbathing nude in parks in Germany, so we knew to steer clear of the parks they were in. Anyway, we never expected what happened one day in the "safety" of our apartment. The neighbors came home for lunch, but apparently didn't hear or notice we were there. While we went between the bedroom and kitchen one time, their door was wide open and one couldn't help but see the backside of our NAKED NEIGHBOR in all it's natural glory... 'twas enough to nearly make me lose my lunch... the neighbor did not notice us, but when we closed our door with little regard for being quiet, they got the message they needed to close their door...

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rayb


Hot Air Balloon

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Oh and word of advice. Even if she asks you point blank, DON'T try to explain what the word "Slut" means to a three year old... it just doesn't work... Somehow saying, "It's a person who does bad things, and wears immodest clothing just doesn't work..."

--Ray

-- Edited by rayb at 17:06, 2007-08-16

-- Edited by rayb at 17:07, 2007-08-16

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Jen


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Oh, my.

I'm grateful that my girls already desire to be modest. My 5 y/o wore a tank top under her shirt today, in 100 degree weather, of her own accord, because she noticed that her tummy wasn't covered if she lifted her arms. Proud mama moment. :)

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