Hello . . . I'm Sara. Born in CA, moved to NY when I was 5, and moved to Utah when I was 15. I have a . . . . broader perspective than some I've met here, and don't think of myself as a Utah Mormon, not that there's anything wrong with Utah Mormons.

It may seem to some that I feel my illnesses ARE my identity, but I use examples from my life, to help promote and foster a greater understanding (or any at all, as so many don't) of mental illness, those suffering from any, and issues related to it, especially regarding our broken health care system, particularly the mental health care aspects, and limited to lack of access for so many.

Besides, it takes a long time to come to terms with any diagnosis, particularly difficult ones, as my psychologist says. Some may get there alot sooner than others; everyone has their own set of issues, factors, and feelings they wrestle with inside; it's far too deep, far too personal, to say that someone "should" be in a particular place about it, in my opinion. Especially early on . . . . it's a journey.

I guess I sound defensive. My main blog isn't just about providing a (sometimes rather painful, sometimes brutally . . . honest isn't the right word, as I'm honest, but brutally . . . raw, sometimes rather embarrassing on issues that I disclose about myself that, while embarrassing and fodder for possibly being judged, I feel are important in the process of trying to illuminate the struggles that are often on the most basic levels of human functioning, to demonstrate the shame that the ill may feel, to open a window on these things and lessen the shame and stigma (even if I potentially create MORE judgement of me by others . . . . in standing up and showing my experiences, I fight the judgement and expectation/societal insistance that we should be seen and not heard, that we should suffer in silence, in shame.)

My main blog, though, isn't just about those things. It's about learning to accept myself, it's about interacting, sharing, learning to be myself, trying to just be myself, silly or not, sharing things I think are intersting, and discussing topics I am interested in. It's about learning, becoming, and living and my life. I sometimes discuss issues related to autism, as my daughter has high-functioning autism. My blog is about ME, and some of the things that happen in my life, and the only thing that gets me through some of the deep blackness is the feeling that relating the struggles, what I learn in and from them at times, being frustrated that it happens again and again, that I've had positive response in the past that relating these things has been helpful, and my feeling and thought, my hope that it may help in the future, both the ill, to know they/we aren't alone, and for others, their friends, families, and anyone else, that they might understand more, and judge less, about us. I've been told so in the past, and this is the only positive I can see about having struggles so; I worry people will think all I think about are mental health things, but it literally is the only bright spot that can pull me through, this sense of purpose that I cling to when battered from all sides and depths. Except I've been losing that feeling . . .

Anyway, I've gone on and on. Just a bit more . . . I live just north of Salt Lake City, I've always wanted to ride a horse, and learn to ride, I see a horse lover or two around here, whilst browsing the public parts of the forum . . . I enjoy creating, as you may see on my beading/jewelry blog, and my other crafting blog . . . I enjoy reading . . . . computer games, too, like The Sims 2 . . . I used to play Star Wars Galaxies with my husband. I'm quite a geek, sometimes.

I was looking for a pic of a crocheted Dalek to use as my avatar, but I can't find it. It must have gone off to conquer the galaxy. Be on the lookout for it, will you?

-- Edited by Dolphin at 15:30, 2007-08-02