Emotions are just Over-rated.

Cat Herder · Understander of unimportant things

Emotions are just Over-rated.

zealia · Profuse Pontificator

I haven't read the entire thread. From what I have read about polygamy as practied in the Church, the women were allowed to say no. Also, they were able to pray for a confirmation to know if this is what the Lord would have them do.

Cat Herder · Understander of unimportant things

Zealia, that is interesting. Do you have some source material you can document that idea with?

I think the common thought today by a lot of members and nonmembers alike is that women did not have a say in becoming a plural wife. And that was a lot of where attacks against the church were centered back then too, that the practice of plural wives equated to complete male domination of females and a form of white slavery. Funny how in over 100 years, the contemporary viewpoint isn't much different.

rayb · Hot Air Balloon

yeah... strange that someone not participant in it would misrepresent a religion...

zealia · Profuse Pontificator

I am going to try to find the article that I read at a conservative LDS group blog.

There was a sister in my ward who shared what I seem to recall as a private journal entry of her ancestor who was visited by an angel. I don't recall if there was a second visit. She was so scared upon the first visit that I think she may have covered her head in the covers. Due to this, I think that she was taken as a wife later in order in plural marriage than she would have been had she of been brave enough to listen to the angel at that time. I am sorry that I am relying on my human memory here. Again, I will try to find the source to the article.

zealia · Profuse Pontificator

The article is at millennialstar.org in the archives dated May of 2007. You should be able to access it by going to the blog and putting polygamy in the search engine on the side panel. It is by Keller.

Cocobeem · Keeper of the Holy Grail

The only thing I've seen in the article so far that indicates women had the "no" option was referring to when Joseph was rejected a time or two when proposing to (usually already married) women. I'm more in line with the thinking of Richard Bushman in Rough Stone Rolling where he says, "Joseph Smith begins seriously to take plural wives in rapid order. Maybe 30 wives in total, 10 of them married to other men. There was pressure put on these women. They were told that this was the Lord's will, and he was the Lord's prophet, and that if they were to please God, they had to comply."

But I'm not wanting a polygamy discussion on this topic of emotions. (I might save that for later.

) I tried to steer things away from polygamy, actually. Thanks, zeal!

zealia · Profuse Pontificator

I do think that emotions are important when seeking a mate. But we have to be careful not to confuse infatuation with it all. That can be the begining of it, but there needs to be more. What do I know? I'm still single.

zealia · Profuse Pontificator

I read the blog of a man who is so in love with his wife. They have been through so much including the death of three of their daughters. They have two surving daughters. It is so sweet how much he loves his wife.

I remember someone from a forum that I used to participate at called desertbook. When a young man going on a mission posted a question about a woman that he cared about and his going on a mission and how that effected this situation, the man wrote that until he had been married for so many years and started raising children with someone that he did not really know what love was. I thought that was so beautiful.

zealia · Profuse Pontificator

Coco, I hope I am stirring this in the right direction. :)

rayb · Hot Air Balloon

Coco: I'm sorry about your personal situation, especially regarding the divorce, what happened to you was wrong and should've never happened. But if you think you can answer all your doubts about men--especially polygamy--you're headed down a path, that imo, leads to a lot of potential for deception. The fact remains that most of that stuff is burried under years of historical prejudice and political correctness of our own and prior decades. Trust that your current husband loves you, and do the best to enjoy and make the best out of the marriage you have... And in case you think I'm being holier than thou, I'll just state, that I have to remind myself of this very advice about once a month... I can't change my own past, let alone the church's... but God's been so good to me, I wanna move forward... let go... jump in... take that leap of faith, and dare to live the Gospel as it's been revealed to me... That's the best i really can do, and sometimes i wonder why I hold myself to impossible standards and major what-ifs... The more I study the life of Christ the more I think he wants us all just to step forward with faith...

--Ray

Cocobeem · Keeper of the Holy Grail

Thanks, ray. I'm uh... not quite sure what you're talking about but that sounded really nice.

I'll say one more time, I'm not trying to talk about polygamy, I'm trying to talk about emotions in general and how they may or may not affect us in a negative way, or how they may or may not steer us on occasion away from the simple life of just living the Gospel. Emotions. That's what I'm trying to talk about. Specifically controlling them and why we even should try (or shouldn't).

I guess I should've started with a different initial example/story. ...sigh...

But thanks, ray. MrCoco is a fantastic guy- he's a better person than I am in all the important ways. I love the Church and have had too many experiences to deny my testimony that Joseph Smith was indeed a Prophet sent to restore the Gospel in these last days. I'm not falling away here, people. Just wanna talk about emotions, that's all.

Sorry if you didn't like my story of weirdo guy. We veered off on to the "love" topic and I thought maybe if we talked about what love is NOT, we might better learn what it IS. Anyhoo- just talking about emotions. No problemos.

Love ya, ray.

Cocobeem · Keeper of the Holy Grail

Check. It. Out. MrCoco brought home this Truman Madsen book from DI yesterday and GUESS WHAT? It includes the Four Essays on Love! Is that trippin' or what? I tell ya, if I want something, the universe like totally gives it to me ... it's really weird. But cool!

rayb · Hot Air Balloon

Sorry if that came out of the Ray Zone

. I frequently make these huge leaps of Ray Logic.

It just occurred to me that the message you send others by "fixating" upon something like polygamy (or the Mountain Meadow thing, or the divorce thing) may indicate a fundamental distrust of men in positions of authority, and taken to an extreme could send the wrong message to your sweet husband... about issues of fundamental trust...

Cool beans about the Madsen's lectures thing. You'll have to let me know if they're worth reading. :)

--Ray

Cocobeem · Keeper of the Holy Grail

I'm fixated? Awesome!

I always thought I had a focusing/attention problem myself. This is good news. Well, at least I can seem fixated on bountiful. That's a start, huh? yay!

A "fundamental distrust of men." Wow. That makes me sound kinda whacko. And I assure you, I am not any such thing.

The MM thing just happened to be in the family, so I was "thinking" about it (that's not fixating, btw) and the stuff with the hidden/stolen love letters just happened to be under the umbrella of polygamy because the thief was a polygamist. ... hmm....

I guess I don't realize how I come across here.

This whole thread may now die on the vine.

(Elvis voice) Thank you very much.

Cat Herder · Understander of unimportant things

Cocobeem wrote:

This whole thread may now die on the vine.

(Elvis voice) Thank you very much.

Can't die on the vine... remember vines are EVIL!!! and if something dies on an EVIL!!! vine, it won't be going to heaven...

As a former one time Elvis impersonator (in front of the whole Stake no less and I had them nearly rolling in the aisles), the proper pronunciation is "Thaankya... Thaingkyavurymuch..."

Cocobeem · Keeper of the Holy Grail

I love Elvis and I love Elvis impersonations even more. Ahhh.... thanks for making me feel normal again.

See, I was all shook up thinking this negative stuff was always on my mind. I apologize, so don't be cruel. My blue suede shoes are gonna make the world go away. Until then suspicious minds may shake, rattle and roll, but somebody bigger than you and I will take these chains from my heart. When they say you've lost that lovin' feeling, you don't have to say you love me. Thanks for releasing the unchained melody in my heart and reminding me that fools rush in. I will try to stay out of T-R-O-U-B-L-E.

rayb · Hot Air Balloon

Sorry Coco... lately, I've been um... preoccupied... I see things... that probably aren't there. :)

--Ray

Cocobeem · Keeper of the Holy Grail

It's okay ray... maybe they really are there.

Thing of it is, I can't tell sometimes.

I don't mind feedback... I'm all for self-reflection as long as it's productive. Last thing I want to do is go through life and not change (and that- hopefully for the better). Love ya, ray.