So yesterday I delivered Sister Roper to the airport for her annual trip to Utah to visit family and friends. This time it's different, though. I'm keeping all the kids here in Texas with me because I'm off this summer (she usually takes the little ones with her.)
Any words of advice and/or encouragement to help me survive for these two weeks?
btw, why does my little princess soil her diaper 5 minutes after I just changed the wet one?
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The ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation is the single most important skill that can be acquired in this life. - Julie Beck
I hope you have a lot of fun times with your children. This can be a time to be remembered. Try to throw away the fastfood before your wife gets home. Well, that's if you are anything like the men in my family.
Take your kids camping on the beach. I loved those times with my dad. Those were by far our best campouts. (Since mom never came camping, you could probably figure it's the same as though she's waiting at home.)
--Ray
-- Edited by rayb at 18:59, 2007-06-19
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I'm not slow; I'm special. (Don't take it personally, everyone finds me offensive. Yet somehow I manage to live with myself.)
Another thing I like to do when my wife is away... listen to really sad country music... especially "leaving" songs... in which the wife is gone or the guy did something stupid and she's gone... Gets you all weepy, but then you think, Hey! She's not gone, she's just in Utah! :)
--Ray
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I'm not slow; I'm special. (Don't take it personally, everyone finds me offensive. Yet somehow I manage to live with myself.)
btw, why does my little princess soil her diaper 5 minutes after I just changed the wet one?
Because what is the use of mommy going away, unless you can COMPLETELY appreciate what her life is...
I think this is a great thing. Hubby used to love keeping the kids while I spent the weekend with my sisters every few years. (Now the kids keep hubby... )
Make breakfast for dinner Eat ice cream for breakfast Sleep out on the trampoline Go swimming Sidewalk chalk murals (yes, even for the older ones) Movie marathons Stay up late with everyone Send everyone to bed early Order pizza
When you've completed that checklist, come back for more.
The diaper thing is all about perception. By the time you notice the wet diaper, it's probably been there for a little while. So you change it, but then it's time to dirty again. The messy diapers are just more immediately detected.
Be careful not to accomplish too much so your wife feels intimidated. One thing I like to do when MrCoco is gone is some project, like re-doing the bathroom or something. Like mini-makeovers in the house. I work so much better when no one's watching.
Anyway, say a cowboy is gone for a couple days and he comes home to this...
Hi, hon, so glad you're back. Here's your breakfast. How was the trip? (Oh, fine.) Remember the tractor you couldn't get working? Well, I fixed that for you and the back 40 is plowed and seeded. I also organized your workshed so you can find stuff and remember your buckskin colt that threw you and gave you the torn ligament? I broke him out for you and he should be fine. Just a little skittish with the cinch, but I think you can work on that with him.
You know what I mean? I'm not sure how your wife is, but I'd be careful with having the whole house sparkling clean, homemade gourmet food ready, the kids perfectly coiffed and dressed with 10 new song-and-dance routines to perform for Mommy upon her return. Oh, didn't I tell you? We got our SCUBA cert. and learned German while you were gone... Everyone's potty trained, too. (Course that last one would probably be alright.)
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Life is tough but it's tougher if you're stupid. -John Wayne
You know... it's a personal thing. You don't want your husband to "show you up" at the job you sort of take pride in, do ya? Like he could do it 10 times better and he's not even trying...??
Course, I wouldn't complain either, but I don't see that happening to me.
-- Edited by Cocobeem at 10:08, 2007-06-20
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Life is tough but it's tougher if you're stupid. -John Wayne
I know the biggest challenge for me when I have to watch the kids solo is not getting fustrated. I'm a type A personality and kid time drives me crazy. It takes 5 times longer to do even the simplest task with children. So I have to tell my self to slow down and go into a slower pace while having the kids. Since I have young ones I also have to tell myself that if I start a project, TV show, book, newspaper, etc that I will inevitably get interupted every minute or so and that the chances of finishing the project before the wife returns are about zero. So I don't start any major projects around the house that will require a lot of time and concentration because it won't happen. Simple stuff like changing light bulbs, tightening screws, and minor fixes work out but building something, redoing the kitchen, painting the living room, etc is a nightmare.
Enjoy this time with your kids. Studies show that children remember more the things that dad did with them later in life than mom because mom is with them all the time so dad time is special. Plus dads tend to be willing and able to do or try some things with kids that a mom never would such as blowing things up errr I mean rocketry.
It takes 5 times longer to do even the simplest task with children. So I have to tell my self to slow down and go into a slower pace while having the kids. Since I have young ones I also have to tell myself that if I start a project, TV show, book, newspaper, etc that I will inevitably get interupted every minute or so and that the chances of finishing the project before the wife returns are about zero. So I don't start any major projects around the house that will require a lot of time and concentration because it won't happen. Simple stuff like changing light bulbs, tightening screws, and minor fixes work out but building something, redoing the kitchen, painting the living room, etc is a nightmare. And this is exactly why every dad needs the opportunity to parent solo from time to time. Doesn't it make you appreciate your wife and everything she does daily so much more?
Actually, when I take over the kids and the running of the household for a period of time, I don't consider it as seeing things from my wife's point of view. It does make me appreciate her more, but when she's gone I get to do everything she does plus everything I do. For instance, I clean the litter boxes (not a small task in our house). I don't get to stop doing it just because she's gone. Everything she does takes her whole day, and I have to somehow add that to everything I do, which also takes the whole day.
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If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of freedom, go from us in peace. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen! - Samuel Adams
Everything you do, including go to work? I'm confused. If you do everything you usually do and everything she usually does, how are you in two places at once? If you are home with the kids, then you're not doing everything you usually do (the stuff that takes all day part)? right?
I think Arbi has the advantage of getting to be a telecommuter... or work from home. Not such a novel thing anymore in the IT world.
My boss does it quite a bit, I do it occasionaly, and my brother does it quite a bit too.
It doesn't always mean one is as productive as at the office, particularly if there are kids around AND Dad has to play Mr. Mom in addition to doing his compensated job.
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It seems to me the only thing you've learned is that Caesar is a "salad dressing dude."
If arb is telecommuting from home, and is able to do everything his wife usually does, in addition to everything he usually does (which is debatable, imo), that indicates that both jobs have integral down time that allows the dovetailing of tasks.
But I am not at all convinced that Arb is as efficient and productive on the days he picks up duties that his wife usually takes care of, as he is on the days when he can concentrate solely on his job. If he is, then maybe he and his wife are both wasting a lot of time on a typical day. Additionally, one day here or there is nothing like two solid weeks during which laundry and serious housecleaning must be done, in addition to the meals, dishes, supervision, chauffeuring, and other daily tasks.
So I'm waiting for arbilad to clarify his earlier statement with some more details so that it doesn't sound quite so superior and condescending as the original post.
Bok, I'd be interested to know which part you consider superior and condescending. Did I diminish the work my wife does? No, I said it takes all day. She has a full load. My point is that I don't get excused from my tasks when I also pick up hers. I haven't been successful yet at getting them all done when I have both sets, but certain tasks, like the litter box, need to get done whether I have to lose sleep to accomplish it or not. So, the point is, it's not the same workload as my wife has - it's more when I take on both. Granted, I'd rather have my regular workload than hers. When my wife is gone, for instance, at a cat show, it's for a well deserved break. But it seemed to me that you were implying that to pick up the wife's load while she's gone in addition to your own merely gives you a taste of what the wife experiences. That's why I pointed out that, even though wives have the stress of constantly having more to do than there is time available to do it, the stress from having two sets of time consuming must do tasks is greater than the stress of one such set. Thankfully, such stress is always temporary (except, I guess, in the case of single mothers). BTW, I only pick up my wife's tasks on days when I'm not working. Telecommuting is too difficult.
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If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of freedom, go from us in peace. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen! - Samuel Adams
So what if I play domestic dad and actually like it more than my job? What if I find it amazingly fulfilling and don't mind all the little irritations like diaper changes and dirty carpet?
--Ray
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I'm not slow; I'm special. (Don't take it personally, everyone finds me offensive. Yet somehow I manage to live with myself.)
No arb I wasn't saying that it gives you a taste of what your wife experiences. I said,
Doesn't it make you appreciate your wife and everything she does daily so much more? And that's what I meant.
When you said,
Everything she does takes her whole day, and I have to somehow add that to everything I do, which also takes the whole day. It sounded to me that you were claiming you could do your job and hers too. Which sounded superior and condescending. Now I see that you weren't. Thanks for clearing that up.
I guess we were both reading between the lines eh?
Originally it sounded like you were saying you could do both your whole day's work AND your wife's whole day's work.
So, now you're saying...you omit some of the things she does in order to do the things you need to do? So...it IS the same workload, not more?
Anyway, the point isn't who's doing more. The point is that what looks like not much is actually sometimes a major accomplishment, but you can't tell unless you try it yourself.
(And while I was breaking up a fight, the discussion moved on...)
Roper, I would suggest you guys make a goal to do something fun as a family sans Mom maybe once or twice a week. Make it something that all the kids will want to do and that doing it is conditioned on their helping out around the house.
And barbecue... definitely some good old barbecue... and have all the food delicacies you like (and would love the kids to try) but are not allowed to eat when Roper's Lass is around (you know, the things women's can't stand the smell of and just think are plain old nasty -- like kipper snacks, anchovy pizza, liver and onions smothered in butter, imported stinky cheese, etc.)
Above all, have fun! You could also leave the kids alone in the care of one of your older sons while you go out on a town with the other men in your ward who have been left as lone men in the garden...
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It seems to me the only thing you've learned is that Caesar is a "salad dressing dude."
Thanks for all of the suggestions, especially those about food.
Tonight we had kielbasa and sauerkraut, along with hot cheetos and orange juice. Sister Roper hates all of those except orange juice.
Sister Roper also likes me to have a beard and longer hair. I shaved. My whole head (left the eyebrows.) It's amazing how much my head feels cooler in this Texas heat. I'm gonna have to do this every summer!
And I'm gonna buy one of those adjustable indoor child/pet/gate/fence thingies. Trying to do dishes and laundry with toddler princess hanging on my legs is infuriating! She can bloody well be trapped in the living room for 30 minutes while I get stuff done
OTOH, the two little ones played very well in the driveway for two hours this morning while I caught up on yard work. It's amazing how children can be entertained for so long by a bucket and a water hose. Now they don't need baths for another day!
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The ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation is the single most important skill that can be acquired in this life. - Julie Beck
Running through a sprinkler was so much fun as a child!
When my cousins stayed with us, we plotted to take a bath though by putting sand on our bodies when we were in the sand box. Let's just say that my mom was not too pleased. She probably would of just let us take a bath if we asked.
I just asked hubby what the most memorable thing he did with the kids while I was gone years ago was... He said his all time favorite thing was when each of our three kids invited a friend and he had one of their dads as a buddy, for back up... and then they all went to the Hogle Zoo... (We had a family pass and used to go at least monthly when we lived in UT and the kids were little...)
He and the other dad lost EACH and EVERY child at least once that day, including Son2 who would have been about 20 mo??? We laugh about it now, but that was once of those "Man, how do you keep track of all these kids every day..." moments.
After that he said he kept the group smaller and stayed closer to home, but he always has loved doing stuff with just him and the kids. They all camped a lot together even after I got sick and couldn't do all the hiking.
Daddy time is REALLY important if you ask me... Kudos roper... Have fun!
) 
(Course that last one would probably be alright.) 
I think arbi means it takes him a whole day to do the cat litter.
Additionally, one day here or there is nothing like two solid weeks during which laundry and serious housecleaning must be done, in addition to the meals, dishes, supervision, chauffeuring, and other daily tasks.
What- in the oven?
