Curious for answers. I have a friend, nonLDS who is a wonderful & spiritual Christian woman, in early 40s. She is currently separated from her spouse. She loves God and has tried to perseveare and so far has chosen not get divorced. As a friend, I know it is not my place to offer anything other than support. This husband has cheated on her multiple times. It is heartbreaking, I was stunned to learn someone could cheat that many times. The husband lives in another state.
She recently learned he'd skipped paying several mortgage payments, the home is now in foreclosure and they have a one month "stay", if she can pay a certain amount in a certain time they won't lose the home.
Anyway, I don't know much about how bankruptcy works but when she shared this info, and that she would have to have that info on her credit report for 10 years or so, I felt so frustrated for her. She has already been treated so badly.
So QUESTION: is there some legal thing she can do so her name is kept clear in this situation? Iknow in marriage, finances are pretty much sautered together. Example even if she helps pay to prevent foreclosure, is there some form she can have that will explain how she is innocent of the actions of this spouse? She is consulting w/a lawyer and seemed to have resigned herself to the possiblilty of bankruptcy. I am just wondering if there is any other escape option for her so she doesn't have that stigma for the next 10 years?
I'm not advocating this as a solution, but here's something to think about:
If your friend lives in a community property state and files for divorce, creditors cannot reposses or foreclose until the divorce is final and the parties have assumed liability for their respective debts. At lest that's how it works in Texas. Even if she doesn't live in a community property state, if they are co-borrowers on the mortgage, a divorce should stop foreclosure until the divorce determines the disposition of the property.
At any rate, she should contact the lender, explain the difficulty, and make arrangement to resume the payments to keep the house out of foreclosure. Banks hate to take property back, because they will take a loss if there's not a lot of equity, and depending on the location, it could sit on the market for a long time. Almost always, a lender will prefer to make payment arrangements so they can keep taking interest.
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The ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation is the single most important skill that can be acquired in this life. - Julie Beck
Thanks Roper, she was happier today, something is working out. Other coworkers who have more knowledge in this are trying to help her w/advice etc. Anyway, thanks for info.
My sister in laws first husband put her into financial ruin. He was in the army overseas and decided he didn't want to be married anymore. Instead of telling her and filing for divorce, he cleaned out the savings account and cut her off financially. Luckilly there were no children involved. During this whole mess her apendix ruptured and she spent a few weeks in the hospital unable to work. She had no money for food or to pay rent. She went to the JAG office on base and started paperwork to get him to support her but it took several weeks. The red cross ended up giving her some money for food. We got our Senator involved who then punted it back when he lied and said he never cut her off. Then we had to send the Senator copies of the JAG paperwork. It was ugly for a while and even damaged her credit. She lived with my wife and I for a while. Short of getting the divource rolling, I don't know what else can be done. Even if they are still married she should be able to get child support withheld from his paycheck. That might help a some.
My only advice is that she get a competent attorney, and like yesterday. If she's still hoping for something from this guy, it's misplaced hope that is harming the children.
I really mean this. If they have children, this lady is seriously causing them harm by showing them that loving God is somehow synonymous with being a doormat. Hope is good, but let's make sure it's placed in the right things.
Thaks you have a lot of good words Homestar. This person's own parents tell her, "a piece of a man is better than no man". Very sad, this lady doesn't want to dissappoint God which has been lots of her concern. It is hard for me to know how to help, I've said things here and there to support her and tell her that Heavenly Father doesn't condone that type of charity. In her church or one of the one's she's attended, their leader apparently said how "men will stray", etc so I talked to my friend about how you have to choose to whom you want to get your advice and definitions and shared a little about how our church has a high expectation for fidelity. I'm in the process of finding some articles/talks to share w/her that support what she deserves, in terms ofexpectation on a husband. The saddest thing is that her spouse apparently has no remorse for his infidelities.
