I have come to learn that "Unreciprocated love, eventually leads to separation"... either here or in the hereafter.
If we love God and want to be with him, we will keep his commandments... now read the line above again and it makes sense doctrinally.
I know folks who got divorced who found that MOST of their troubles started the day they got divorced. I know many others who have remained married in misery and wonder if they shouldn't have just severed the relationship years earlier.
Marriage is not only a covenant between two people, it is also a covenant with God.
Too many enter into that most important covenant on a whim.
In order to find the right person... you need to be the right person.
Another truth that most folks find a way of taking exception with is this
"You marry who you deserve and you deserve whomever you marry"
Think about that one for awhile.
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no unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing... the truth of God will go forth till it has penetrated every website, sounded in every ear, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished and the great Jehovah shall say the work is done
You deserve whomever you marry.... hmm.... I guess I can see that, sort of. I mean, we do "pick" whom we marry, right? So I suppose roper and I only have ourselves to blame for our bad choices. But there's also the agency factor. Which means the person you divorced may not be the person you married. People can and do change, and sometimes for the worse. Sometimes people marry a "potential" as was the case with me. Sometimes people are pathetically naive as was the case with me. There are a lot of factors for why someone would apparently make a bad choice. What seems so obvious years down the road may not have been during the engagement period. Some people are geniuses at putting on a front. Others are regrettably inadequate at seeing the front.
And I'm of the mind that you ONLY covenant with the Lord when you get married in the temple. You do not promise anything, save it be to the Lord. To emphasize this, you are told to look at the sealer, not each other, while the ordinance is performed.
I liked the fact that an ENTIRE talk was devoted to this wide-spread issue. I liked that Elder Oaks said we all know someone who's been through this. It's not some "taboo" thing. Satan is attacking families like crazy and people are falling like flies. And from what I've heard, there is no difference in statistics between temple marriages and any other marriage being successful. And that some things are worse than divorce. Indeed.
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Life is tough but it's tougher if you're stupid. -John Wayne
I thought it was interesting how Oaks put the church's policy about granting temple recommends to divorcees, and how he explained that while in the celestial kingdom such things would never be, but that none of us are yet living a celestial law. He is a great clarifyier of doctrine.
I also like what he said about internet romances. :)
--Ray
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I'm not slow; I'm special. (Don't take it personally, everyone finds me offensive. Yet somehow I manage to live with myself.)
He put it better than I did, but essentially that because we do not live the celestial law, we are not to assume that those who divorce are adulterers or unworthy to attend the temple, and that the church has the authority to forgive sin in these situations... though, he put it better than that... I'm gonna have to go back and reread it... I just remember the Spirit of the comment was quite astute, and thinking, "I'm gonna have to go back and reread that and ponder it..."
Much of my conference experience is like that. Where I take little notes, "Go back and reread this talk..." in my notebooks... :)
--Ray
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I'm not slow; I'm special. (Don't take it personally, everyone finds me offensive. Yet somehow I manage to live with myself.)
coco is right about the agency of the other spouse. You can marry someone and a dozen years later, that person is not the same person as before. You have to try and strengthen the other, it is nice to receive strength from your spouse, but in the end, you have to rely wholly on the Lord, you cannot place all your trust in the other person or you will fall flat. Life sure can suck sometimes!
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Lo, there I see my mother, my sisters, my brothers Lo, there I see the line of my people back to the beginning Lo, they call to me, they bid me take my place among them In the halls of Valhalla, where the brave may live...forever
Valhalla- I completely agree. We must eventually get to the point where we stand on our own two feet as far as our testimonies go. We must be willing to place the Lord above all else. Heaven forbid that anyone's spouse would leave them, but I don't think it would hurt to at least "go there" in our minds, to assure we will still remain true to our own covenants. Maybe we should ask ourselves, "What would I do if my spouse left me and the Gospel teachings? Would I be able to stand?" Unfortunately it's happening more and more. And unfortunately some people on the receiving end just utterly lose it.
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Life is tough but it's tougher if you're stupid. -John Wayne
