I just had this thought. As a ward missionary I've been concerned about so many so promptly seeking to be in the category of "Do not contact..."
Sometimes I think we as members hurry to put those innactive fellows in this category so they no longer feel a burden...
With Elders, especially, I think many men distance themselves from the church because of feelings of personal unworthiness and a desire to hide their sins... which is a natural tendency that breeds doubts and feelings of embarrassment and rationalizations.
One of the great challenges active members face is finding ways to include these folk who are seeking distance due to the shame that comes with weakness.
I was wondering, what if we had a category that wasn't "Do Not Contact" and perhaps not "Innactive" but perhaps we called it "Service Only Member"? What if We were to ask, rather than saying, "Do you want any contact with the church?" Perhaps ask, "Would it be okay if we contacted you and invited you to join us when the church is performing community service?"
I think a lot of men would gladly come and work for a good cause, even when they feel unworthy to enter a church or have too much contact with the saints.
Whaddya think?
--Ray
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I'm not slow; I'm special. (Don't take it personally, everyone finds me offensive. Yet somehow I manage to live with myself.)
It's a great idea... of course we really shouldn't have "Do Not Contact" written down anyway.
If they say they want to be a member and that they don't want any contact, then it's time for a visit from the Bishop.
My clerk wrote members each month from his ward that were on the don't contact list.
One finally came back into activity because he wrote him each month. you never know.
There a probably some who would come to serve and that might get them back in the bishops office also.
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no unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing... the truth of God will go forth till it has penetrated every website, sounded in every ear, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished and the great Jehovah shall say the work is done
I'm a huge fan of just being a friend to those that I know/meet who are in that category (which I hate putting a name to). Call them up just to say hi. I know that the ultimate goal may be to get them to come back into the fold, but somehow begging and pleading for people to come back to church just doesn't do much good. Instead I just try to be a friend that they can be comfortable calling if they need anything. And I happen to mention fun church activities, or just fun friends that I know from church and hope that someday they will ask. I do like to bring it up from time to time, but I try not to be a pest because I know I'm a natural rebel and the more people bug me the less likely I am to do it.
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Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.
— Oscar Wilde
I had a Bishop once who told us that there should be no "no contact" list. His attitude was that either you accept contact from the church, or you ask to have your name removed from the rolls. He was Bishop, so I'm not going to argue whether that was right for that ward at that time. Bishops sometimes do things that seem strange to us but are exactly what the ward needs. But for most situations, I think that would be a bit extreme. I like the idea of a "service only" list. After all, we do a lot of fun stuff. But then again, some people just do not want contact with the church. I home taught one lady that would only let us home teach her on her porch most of the time, because she didn't want us bothering her non member husband. She didn't go to church. Her cub scout aged kids went to a non-denominational cub scout pack instead of the church sponsored one. She even lived right next to the relief society president for the ward, who kept trying to get her involved in various activities.
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If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of freedom, go from us in peace. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen! - Samuel Adams
The only people I have ever told to put on Do Not Contact have specifically told me to not contact them. I had family I was hometeaching last year. I called and stopped by multiple times leaving messages and goodies when they were not there. Finally I actually caught them at home and they asked me to please leave them alone. They said they had they belonged to another church and to "please leave them alone". The husband was the only one on the records and he claimed that he had never been a member of our church anyway. If someone tells me in no uncertain terms to leave them alone then I do. I don't want to end up in jail.
After contemplating the situation I think that perhaps the husband may have been baptized at 8 or 9 but never been to church since. He held no priesthood office so my constant friendly phone calls and stopping by probably seemed strange to him and his family. I honored their wishes and stopped contact. I had another family where the husband and wife had both been members and the wife became very hostile to the church along the lines of the most vehement anti mormons I have ever met. He really didn't care one way or the other, wasn't really intersted in church, but made it clear that it would be difficult if not impossible to have a hometeacher because she was so against it. I tried dealing with him directly which was tough. One time I asked for an actual appointment and he said he would check with the wife. The resulting scream fest and fight I got to hear over the phone between the two of them was ugly. I was hung up on and they wouldn't talk to me after that. They were taken off my list shortly after that. There was obviously everything short of physical violence going on with her anti mormon attitude. Sometimes you just have to step back and let things work themselves out.
