I had a Ted Ferguson in my high school graduating class... his nickname wasn't Turd though... it was something far less complimentary, but I didn't associate with him, didn't call him it, and in no way was I going to ask him if he warranted the derogatory appellation.
Eagles = sharks of the air? Does that make sharks = eagles of the water?
I imagine this would have been a quite frightening thing to have happen to you. Of course, this lady seems to have a track record... She collided into a gum tree last year? Maybe the kookaburra's in that tree hired the eagles to get even with her for disturbing their eating of gum drops... they were probably sitting there laughing right away from the old gum tree. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kookaburra_%28song%29
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It seems to me the only thing you've learned is that Caesar is a "salad dressing dude."