In many ways I regret being such a goof with some of the friends, even innactive friends, that I wish would come back to church with me. Often I end up the clown or the center laughing stock, mostly because it doesn't bother me when folks laugh at me, and because I like it when people are happy and up and positive. Still it has its downside too...
I try to be pleasant and upbeat, but i find myself constantly at odds with the seriousness of the Gospel message that no unclean thing can enter the kingdom of God and that we all have a duty to embrace the Covenant of Christ, have faith, repent, follow the Spirit, and endure to the end.
Then again, some of these folk might not be my friends at all, if all I cared about was serious churchiness... It's just one of those tug of wars I seem to find myself in... any thoughts?
--Ray
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I'm not slow; I'm special. (Don't take it personally, everyone finds me offensive. Yet somehow I manage to live with myself.)
Don't beat yourself up over it. Being a goofball and silly in social settings does not quite equate to being lightminded...
I mean, it is one thing to pull a fun practical joke on a co-worker during the work day in cubesville that will keep you both in stitches the rest of the day, week, month... but it is a whole different thing to say go into a performance review with your leader and acting like Bill and Ted trying to do their history report in front of the Circle K the night before it is due...
Lightmindedness pretty much means not taking anything seriously... particularly the things that should be taken seriously... and Ray, I think I understand you well enough to know that is not the case. And those that actually know you would probably say the same.
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It seems to me the only thing you've learned is that Caesar is a "salad dressing dude."
