My mother in law is probably dieing. She is not a member of the church and isn't interested in asking for a blessing. She had hip surgery earlier this year, and she later discovered that she has diabetes; her leg isn't healing from the surgery. Now she's in the hospital with a gangrene infection. While I hope for her recovery and have put her name on the temple prayer roll, the simple fact is that she is probably going to die. Especially since she is adamant that she doesn't want to take insulin. Any advice on how to help my wife through this? She is understandably upset that her mom is dieing. She just called and told me that her mom has no appetite anymore. She can't visit her mom in Kiev. The best we could possibly do is fly her over for the funeral, if that happens. I've already resigned myself to the fact that I'm going to have a high phone bill this month. I can't begrudge my wife that. But what other ways can I help her?
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If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of freedom, go from us in peace. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen! - Samuel Adams
I'm sorry, arbi. That must be difficult for your wife to be so far away.
When my mom was so sick and eventually died, I think the only things that helped were to have someone listen to my stories (even if they were repeats), hold me tightly when I cried, and receiving blessings of comfort. Women's emotions are a strange creature--they are unique to each woman. But, some things are universal (the crying and talking part)--and as her husband with the priesthood, stay close to Christ so He can advise you on how to help her best.
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It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
I think everyone needs to be allowed to grieve in their own way. Even if her grieving isn't what you think is best, or how you would do it, she needs to be allowed to work through it the way she chooses. It's hard to watch someone hurt and grieve, and want to fix it or push the process along, but you really can't. Grief is such a completely personal thing. You know your wife well enough to support her through it, I'm sure, but you can't do it for her.
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"There is order in the way the Lord reveals His will to mankind. . .we cannot receive revelation for someone else's stewardship." L. Tom Perry
