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Post Info TOPIC: Flatus Maximus
rayb


Hot Air Balloon

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Flatus Maximus
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http://knox.villagesoup.com/rewrite/108448.htm

Thank goodness for eight grade boys... a bureacrat's worst nightmare.

--Ray

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I'm not slow; I'm special.
(Don't take it personally, everyone finds me offensive. Yet somehow I manage to live with myself.)
Duke of Mirth


Profuse Pontificator

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Sounds like it's time for those boys to use the silent but deadly flatulence from now on.

POWER TO THE SPLEEN!

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Jason (Formerly salesortonscom)

As I walk through this earth, nothing can stop, the Duke of Mirth!
Cat Herder


Understander of unimportant things

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I blame the parents...

for conceiving the boys in the first place...

I blame the parents / fathers / uncles / cousins / older siblings...

for playing Pull My Finger too much...

I blame society and everyone...

who has ever laughed at the naturally occuring explosive expulsion of fermented organic methane from the digestive tracts of themselves, their friends, cows, or other living organisms...

I blame the teachers...

who didn't have the wisdom to send the culprits to the nurse's office on grounds of having them checked out for some sort of digestive disorder after the intentional flatulence became apparent and thereby publicly humiliate the offenders...

I blame tort pursuing lawyers...

who will cry this is a violation of the boys' civil liberties to freedom of expression, as well as those who will cry that the other students civil liberties are being violated by having a hostile smelling learning environment created by the culprits...

I blame Ann Landers and Dear Abby...

for not reminding everyone that public flatulence is crude, rude, and socially unacceptable...

I blame our politicial leaders...

for not stating that public flatulence is unpatriotic...

I blame the makers of whoopy cushions, fart scented spray, and fart scented stink bombs...

for not keeping the price of their goods down to where eighth grade boys can afford them so as not to have to resort to the naturally occuring, manual exertion for the jokes...

I blame the eighth grade girls...

for not being understanding of the boys' plight and for calling it "Gross"...

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Poncho29


Senior Bucketkeeper

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Date:
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rofl.gif

Are you sure you didn't leave anyone out there Cat?

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Sanity is not contagious, but insanity is.
Duke of Mirth


Profuse Pontificator

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What about Karl Rove and George Bush? I'm sure we can also blame them!

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Jason (Formerly salesortonscom)

As I walk through this earth, nothing can stop, the Duke of Mirth!
Mahonri


Senior Bucketkeeper

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I'll blame John McCain and Mike Huckabee.

It's their fault and the fault of no one else.

They are both so extremely full of male bovine fecal matter that flatulence comes out of everyone just because of them.

What else would you expect from the McCainiac and the Huckster?

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no unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing... the truth of God will go forth till it has penetrated every website, sounded in every ear, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished and the great Jehovah shall say the work is done
Duke of Mirth


Profuse Pontificator

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I refer to Huckabee as Huckaloogie or Huckaturd these days.

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Jason (Formerly salesortonscom)

As I walk through this earth, nothing can stop, the Duke of Mirth!
Cat Herder


Understander of unimportant things

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Oh, I forgot the following sources of blame:

I blame Mary Poppins...

who clearly was trying to encourage a flatulence revolution by her mode of transportation and the unknown source of all the competition nannies answering Mr. Banks' advert...

I blame Chuck Norris...

who really doesn't have another fist behind his beard, but a camoflouged FDS (Flatulence Deployment System)... it wasn't just his roundhouse kicks as Walker that knocked the bad guys out...

I blame Crazy Tom and Hugo Boss...

who are the products of losing high volumes of brain cells from sniffing flatulent fumes for so many years...

I blame Hollywood...

who produced such classic films as Scooby Doo and Scooby Doo 2 where gross (and yes I mean gross) artistic license was taken to get some cheap laughs by portraying Shaggy and Scooby as eighth grade mentality boys who hold glorified flatulence contests...

I blame Shakespeare...

who got the wording wrong in his play Julius Ceaser where Ceaser is surrounded by the Roman Senators, for they stabbed him after Brutus let one rip and pointed at Ceaser... Ceaser's actual words were "Pee-yew, Brutus!" Not "Et-tu, Brute?"...

I blame BYU Food Services...

who provide ample food stuffs that contribute to the increased frequency of involuntary flatulent activity in its patrons...

I blame Jan...

who everyone knows was the cause of everything bad that ever happened on the Brady Bunch so it just stands to reason she had something to do with this...

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It seems to me the only thing you've learned is that Caesar is a "salad dressing dude."
rayb


Hot Air Balloon

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Posts: 5370
Date:
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Your name is a golden bell hung in my heart. I would break my body to pieces to call you once by your name!


__________________
I'm not slow; I'm special.
(Don't take it personally, everyone finds me offensive. Yet somehow I manage to live with myself.)
Duke of Mirth


Profuse Pontificator

Status: Offline
Posts: 538
Date:
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Guess what!!!! I gotta feaver and the only prescription is more cowbell!

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Jason (Formerly salesortonscom)

As I walk through this earth, nothing can stop, the Duke of Mirth!
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