It's time to think about white elephant gifts for the big family shin-dig. I have to think of 2 for adults, and 2 for kids, each having a $5 limit.
I think my very favorite one was from a few years ago. My nephew (now on a mission in Ohio) packed a little lunch. The sandwich and apple had a bite taken out of them, and the napkin had written on it, "Have a nice day. Love, Mom." I can't remember why that was so hilarious, but we got a big laugh out of it.
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"There is order in the way the Lord reveals His will to mankind. . .we cannot receive revelation for someone else's stewardship." L. Tom Perry
Most useful...a can opener. I still have and use it. It's been about 12 years.
I went through a phase where I always gave lap quilts---otherwise known as baby quilts for people who don't have babies. I could make one in an hour.
My sister got a used dog dish once and almost fell off her chair laughing. Of course, it wasn't a white elephant gift exchange so there must have been some inside joke.
One year, my husband wrapped a bunch of my own stuff and gave it to me. After about the third time of "I already have one of these" i realized these were the ones I had!! That was....amusing.
And, one year, my 4 year old had so much fun at Christmas he didn't want it to be over so he came in one day with a pile of things wrapped in construction paper asking me to keep them safe. In April...for his birthday, I remembered them and pulled them out. There was the video I had searched and searched for. And my scissors I'd "lost" and a variety of other long missing treasures. It was so much fun. Even he had forgotten what was in them. THey were the best gifts.
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"My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle."
no unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing... the truth of God will go forth till it has penetrated every website, sounded in every ear, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished and the great Jehovah shall say the work is done
Best I've seen was a 'fan club packet' -- including some hilarious uber-posed photos of the giver (some autographed), a form fan letter, stuff like that. Oh man I laughed forever over that one and I didn't even know the guy....
I once found the perfect white elephant gift. It was a clothes hanger with a plastic head where the hair looped into the hook of the hanger, of some fashion model woman, that looked "too sexy for this hanger", and just looking at it made you laugh. I took it to a very large Christmas party and EVERYONE wanted it, though it was the most ridiculous thing ever... I'd gotten the hanger playing a scavenger hunt party, where we went to a DI/Goodwill, and were supposed to return with the most bizarre object--and the hanger won the competition. :)
I believe at that party we took home someone's exercise trampoline, which was in fine condition, except that it had cobwebs all over it, cuz it'd not been used for a long time. A friend of mine go the second most class-less object--a martini glass with plastic olive Christmas tree ornament... which looked horribly trashy. Imagine putting that on your Christmas tree... :)
--Ray
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I'm not slow; I'm special. (Don't take it personally, everyone finds me offensive. Yet somehow I manage to live with myself.)
I gave a bag full of fired 9mm brass to a non gun crowd one year.
Why doesn't that surprise any of us?
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no unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing... the truth of God will go forth till it has penetrated every website, sounded in every ear, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished and the great Jehovah shall say the work is done
I've given 8 track tapes before. They're easy to find at any thrift store and the reciever will almost never have a way to play them. Also the 8 track selection is pretty funny.
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Jason (Formerly salesortonscom)
As I walk through this earth, nothing can stop, the Duke of Mirth!
The best one I've ever seen was from a co-worker who used to work construction. Somehow he had found himself in possession of a Urinal. So far it's been passed on to somebody else each of the last three christmas's.
And we are all eagerly awating to see who gets to take it home this year. Well all except whoever gets stuck storing it for another year.
My favorite white elephant gift was the one I gave Poncho our first Christmas together as a married couple.
Both of us were going to school (different universities in different parts of the city) and working part time (again in different parts of the city) so it was not unusual for us to be traveling 100 miles a day during the week just to get to school and to work... and we had one car.
I had her convinced that she wasn't getting anything for Christmas because, what with the travel time, school, and work schedules, there just hadn't been anytime for me to go shopping for anyone, and come Christmas Eve, she had bought in hook, line and sinker my ploy that what was really important was that we were together and with family and that it wasn't wise for us to go into more debt than we had (a couple hundred dollars yet for our wedding rings)... I had the whole gift of the Magi thing going...
Christmas morning in our apartment, I sprung on her a single Cleveland Browns glass from a gas station promotion that had been heavily advertised the whole month... "But dear, you know I was working or at school all the time and I never got the chance to go shopping, after all it is the thought that counts, right?"
Filling tank up Christmas Eve on the way home from work... abt $15.00 Buying the last glass they had as a gag gift... abt $2.49 w/ fill up Look on Poncho's face as she opened my "gift" Christmas morning while she was trying to be gracious and yet not disappointed at the same time... priceless Look on Poncho's face as throughout the day when we went to various family members homes to celebrate with them and progressively (and each time exponentially) better gifts I strategically kept hidden from her keep emerging from under a tree... even more priceless.
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It seems to me the only thing you've learned is that Caesar is a "salad dressing dude."
My dear Cat, I believe you have a couple of dates mixed up...
Cat indeed gave me a Cleveland Browns glass as a gag gift one Christmas. But it was NOT our first Christmas together. Our first Christmas together I was convinced he had not gotten me anything, but it turned out he bought me a very nice sweater.
The Christmas he gave me the glass was another Christmas I wasn't sure whether he had actually given me anything, but we had our two oldest children at the time. You did purchase it at a gas station on your way home from work one evening.
And if you don't believe me Cat Herder, then I can dig up the picture you took of me wearing a Santa hat, with the "what the heck is this?" look on my face with child things #1 and #2 standing beside me.
My dear Cat, I believe you have a couple of dates mixed up...
Cat indeed gave me a Cleveland Browns glass as a gag gift one Christmas. But it was NOT our first Christmas together. Our first Christmas together I was convinced he had not gotten me anything, but it turned out he bought me a very nice sweater.
The Christmas he gave me the glass was another Christmas I wasn't sure whether he had actually given me anything, but we had our two oldest children at the time. You did purchase it at a gas station on your way home from work one evening.
And if you don't believe me Cat Herder, then I can dig up the picture you took of me wearing a Santa hat, with the "what the heck is this?" look on my face with child things #1 and #2 standing beside me.
I think the 'what's that red rider bb gun doing behind the desk' ploy is just mean. Does it really make the surprise better to have crushed the person's hopes first?
I'm thinking of allowing Cat some artistic license on this one. The story isn't near as good with the actual facts. I feel the same way about politicians.
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Jason (Formerly salesortonscom)
As I walk through this earth, nothing can stop, the Duke of Mirth!
I'm not concerned about artistic license. Cat tells good stories, but in this particular case I'm just for some reason very interested in proving him wrong, because he's gotten this story wrong before.
Exactly Mirk because I'm intellectually lazy and don't want to be bothered by facts and figures. I just want to be entertained and taken care of which is why I'm still stuck in the Matrix.
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Jason (Formerly salesortonscom)
As I walk through this earth, nothing can stop, the Duke of Mirth!
"The best one I've ever seen was from a co-worker who used to work construction. Somehow he had found himself in possession of a Urinal. So far it's been passed on to somebody else each of the last three christmas's.
And we are all eagerly awating to see who gets to take it home this year. Well all except whoever gets stuck storing it for another year. "
Gross!! Was it used!
One of our former male nurses/administrators used to keep a very coveted item in a shelf in his office-- he had a brandnew pink bedpan that he kept stocked w/Christmas candy!!
I am thinking it might be fun to try to buy a bedpan from work and fill it w/Christmas candy for our Enrichment night elephant gift exchange this Wed? If I did the bedpan thing, it would be fun to decorate it w/Christmas sequins. etc (and I would get someone to validate that it was a new item).
But if I use that would it be making light of those w/health problems who've used these items in the past??
Anyway, I already got my items to give (one of those extra long candy necklaces from the dollar store, a "elf" sponge that grows when placed in water for 10 days, and pb cups w/dollar store cookie cutters.
