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Bountiful -> Strengthen Thy Brethren -> The tongue of angels
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Roper


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The tongue of angels
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Yesterday (Saturday), Sister Roper and I had a misunderstanding about the time we had agreed upon to go to the temple.  I was sure that I had clearly communicated my desire to go early and be back by noon (with the drive to Dallas, it's a five-hour event.)  I had asked the older boys to watch the wee ones for the morning.  Sister Roper was sure she hadn't heard those plans at all, and that it would be better to go after lunch. 

By 9 a.m., I was fuming.  By 10 a.m., she was in tears.  We ended up going in the afternoon, but I didn't feel prepared at all, so I sat in the visitor's area and read for two hours while she went on a session. It was so much less than it could have been.

During that hour when we both were arguing for our individual viewpoints, we both said insensitive things.  Imagine our surprise when the first address in Sacrament meeting today was based on Elder Holland's "The Tounge of Angels" conference address from last April.  There is very specific guidance for husbands and wives in that address.  And this general counsel which could apply to some of the recent conversation here at Bountiful:

So, brothers and sisters, in this long eternal quest to be more like our Savior, may we try to be perfect men and women in at least this one way nowby offending not in word, or more positively put, by speaking with a new tongue, the tongue of angels. Our words, like our deeds, should be filled with faith and hope and charity, the three great Christian imperatives so desperately needed in the world today. With such words, spoken under the influence of the Spirit, tears can be dried, hearts can be healed, lives can be elevated, hope can return, confidence can prevail.
So in answer to Bok's implied question in another thread, beyond just talking about it, what can we do as a community to lessen the occurrences of members giving and taking offense?  How do we speak with the tongue of angels?

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The ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation is the single most important skill that can be acquired in this life. - Julie Beck
nitasmile


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One idea might be to put on the virtual glasses or shoes of each other and try to see things from their viewpoint. More than even a tongue of angel, we need the heart of an angel. I think a lot of conflict in life (not necessarily here) is due to everyone having different life experiences.

Often people are so busy that even though you tell them something, maybe they don't actually hear it. Maybe that is what happened w/you and your wife. I do hope it is better now.



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zealia


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I think you had both hoped for a wonderful experience at the temple. It is too bad being human got in the way. I hope the next time that both of you can have a great experience. That talk was excellent timing for you. I know that I really fell short in a horrible way right before General Conference. I want to be so prepared for Conference to have a nice experience. That weighed upon me. I am grateful for mercy. Maybe I was in a way humbled knowing how I did something that was so upsetting to me and hurtful to someone else.

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bokbadok


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I appreciate you sharing this, Roper. I'm not ready to post a comment about it yet, but I wanted you to know I saw it and found some personal value in your story.

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"My Karma Ran Over My Dogma"
alabamabelle


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having had a few tense moments in my own marriage, maybe this particular moment was not such a bad thing. . .

while I am certainly NO expert, I think times when we have had stresses, even including those related to temple attendance, a talk that comes in such a timely fashion may have much more impact than if you weren't just a little raw from your marital experiences.

there have been times for most of the people I know where they leave the meetings and say 'That talk was directed to ME - I just know it', and others in the SAME meeting go home talking about how they just 'wasted' another Sunday with the same old stuff THEY always talk about.

perhaps your shared frustration was actually a greater opportunity to truly HEAR and internalize a message that you might would have passed over at any other time. (and I am not saying you "dismiss" the counsel of our leaders!)

feel free to apply an entire box of salt to this . . .

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