My daughter just returned from Girl's Camp and she had a great time and even showed off the muscles she got from all the canoeing she did. But, I was talking to a friend the other night who's daughter didn't go to Girls Camp. She lead her parents to believe she was going all summer and they even paid their $50, but at the eleventh hour she utterly refused to go. They even had someone from the stake call wondering where she was. She said, "I'm NOT GOING AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!" Well, her parents were pretty upset with her especially since they can't get their $50 back. So they grounded her and made her do housework all week and she just gave them attitude and said, "Well, it least it isn't girls camp."
According to my daughter this same girl did nothing but complain last year at camp and made up her mind she was going to be miserable and made sure she was. She just whined that the camp she came from in Oregon had a chlorinated pool (not a lake) and they slept in cabins. Oh whaaah!
So thinking about this girl and the attitude of alot of boys at Cat's scout camp made me think about how kids today expect to be entertained. You take away their electronics and they complain they're bored. There was plenty for the boys to do at scout camp, they just chose not to do it. I think kids today get it in their heads that they are entitled to everything.
I told this mom that she should tell her daughter that she owes them the $50 bucks. So this mom did just that and her daughter's response was "Yeah, right."
I think spoiled kids have always existed. I do seem to notice an increase in the overall sense of entitlement each new generation has. Entitlement bothers me. I try very hard to teach my children gratitude which is an excellent antidote to entitlement.
__________________
"The promptings of the Holy Ghost will always be sufficient for our needs if we keep to the covenant path. Our path is uphill most days, but the help we receive for the climb is literally divine." --Elaine S. Dalton
Actually that's the word I think I was looking for. Entitlement. Kids today think they are "entitled" to everything. They think they don't need to do anything to earn what they get. They come to "expect" all the luxuries of life, etc. And you're right Hiccups, how many kids today have any sense of gratitude?
My kids are entitled to no visible bruises. That's about it. I think it stems from parents who either don't want to be bothered or parents that want to be their best buddy instead of their parent. You see adult women dressing like their teen daughters at the mall and it is no wonder they are problem children.
My grandparents had a farm. Once they took us to a lake and I remember them telling that one of their daughters who was now in her late 60's remarked that going to what I think was the same lake was boring when she was in her youth. Maybe it is certain personality types. The young woman that you mentioned seemed to like her old camp so maybe she is just against "roughing it." I don't think we have to make things into an "initiation-like experience." for the youth. Although I realize that is not what you said it was by any means. I have heard of survivial camps for wayward children so there may be something to be said for self-reliance.
I liked camp as a youth that was affiliated with Brownies. It was day camp and we spent the night on the last night.
I do think that some children are "plugged in" too much, for sure. It is good to have time away from video games and tv etc.
I don't think t.v. or video games makes it that children "have to be entertained" necessarily. I remember my methods teacher for teaching Social Studies to Elementary teachers remarking how teachers had to be prepared to entertain youth as they grew up with Sesame Street. I don't think I voiced my thoughts how that was not true as I was the pilot generation of Sesame Street. I paid attention in school and found some subjects rather interesting without the teachers doing any amazing hands on experiments or anything beyond normal teaching. I had respect for teachers though I did not really think about that then. We did not have video games on t.v., but my brother had some primitive hand held games for football and baseball that I liked to play sometimes. And on our Texas Instrument computer, I had Munch man. As a whole, I did not like a lot of video games because I was not too good at them. I played outdoors a lot as youth. I also watched too much t.v. at times, but that was probably more when I was older.
I did not address what I consider a separate issue of entitlement. Of course, it has to do with being spoiled. It does not necessarily go hand and hand with being bored, however.
What is normal for children to expect is based a lot on the culture that they live and what their peers have. Also, family rules can come into effect. For instance, I think we were pretty much allowed to the change on top of the fridge and would push our chair there to get some if the "ice cream/ding dong man was in the neighborhood." I don't recall trying to use it for large purchases.
We often would get a treat when we were at the store. I think that my mom had a rule that a child could get one thing and one thing only. That was the rule when my cousin who lived with us at one point was whining all the way through the store about what she wanted and my mom firmly and probably kindly told her that she only got one thing. I don't actually remember this event, but my mom has mentioned it. A lady said told my mom that she would have smacked my cousin right away. My mom was very patient and was not bothered by all the whining at the time. I think that my dad was a push over though when we went grocery shopping with him letting us put what we wanted in the cart.
We seldom had candy. And we usually did not get any toys or presents except during Birthdays and holidays. There was a time when my dad brought home a "Little Professor" and "Whiz Kid" as early gifts for the holidays. I don't think my mom liked it that he did not wait.
We did work in the family business but after a while we did not get actual pay though the money went towards our tuition.
My parents did not give allowance. If I needed money, I could ask and I think I usually got it. But I did not have a lot of wants. We wore uniforms to school so that probably helped a lot.
In contrast to our environment, I know of some who get presents that are not tied to a holiday. Also, there are people that have candy all the time in their home. Neither is necessarily bad, but both can be bad if children have no limits.
I know some kids have very expensive wants and do seem rather entitled that they think that they should get something for nothing.
I would bet that if you asked the girls and leaders at the "perfect camp", they would say that she spent her whole time complaining there too. A complainer is a complainer, no matter what.
Indeed. And can you imagine the specatular arguments once someone lists something that someone else does...
Bountifulite A: Doing X will destroy your children.
Bountifulite B: How can you say that? I do X. My father did X. It worked out fine.
BA: Here's a scripture reference that I believe conclusively shows the evils of doing X.
BB: Oh, yeah, well then I guess [General Authority] is in real trouble, because he did X.
BA: That's a real stretch. You're grasping there.
BB: You just don't want to admit I'm right.
BA:
-- Edited by hiccups at 09:23, 2007-08-21
__________________
"The promptings of the Holy Ghost will always be sufficient for our needs if we keep to the covenant path. Our path is uphill most days, but the help we receive for the climb is literally divine." --Elaine S. Dalton
I object to that statement. I did not even touch the butt of your bait, much less snip it.
Here I was thinking Mirk was the one I needed to watch for starting false rumors. I'm watching you, Ray.
-- Edited by hiccups at 10:52, 2007-08-21
__________________
"The promptings of the Holy Ghost will always be sufficient for our needs if we keep to the covenant path. Our path is uphill most days, but the help we receive for the climb is literally divine." --Elaine S. Dalton
Perhaps I missed that one while I was on vacation. Very interesting.
__________________
"The promptings of the Holy Ghost will always be sufficient for our needs if we keep to the covenant path. Our path is uphill most days, but the help we receive for the climb is literally divine." --Elaine S. Dalton
"The promptings of the Holy Ghost will always be sufficient for our needs if we keep to the covenant path. Our path is uphill most days, but the help we receive for the climb is literally divine." --Elaine S. Dalton
