Do you ever feel anger at those who once claimed to have a testimony and then fall away? I know this sounds stupid, and it makes no sense, but sometimes I think I do, and I don't like it, but I feel this jab of annoyance by it all, and it ain't right, cuz honestly I am a fool and a sinner and have no right to feel righteous indignation for anything. We're all flawed and fallen, weak and foolish, and we all are seeking the Lord and at times we all reject him. I just got a calling as a counsellor in the EQ presidency. Just seeing how infrequently our members hometeach is heartbreaking. I know I'm no better, I've let many a month lapse. I have no right to be annoyed... Sometimes I wonder if it is a perverse form of envy... or maybe I just care more, but I don't want feel better than anyone--cuz I know I am not...
I just feel all these feelings... sometimes I just want to stop feeling them... to simply not care anymore. I don't know how God does it.
I guess I'm wondering how any of you work out such feelings...
--Ray
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I'm not slow; I'm special. (Don't take it personally, everyone finds me offensive. Yet somehow I manage to live with myself.)
Seriously, can you identify what is specifically bothering you?
Are you saying that not doing one's hometeaching is a sign of "falling away", or are you bringing up two seperate issues?
Anger is often a mask or a response for fear. Are you afraid of falling away yourself? Are you afraid of having your beliefs challenged, as it were, by those who reject them?
Wow, I am sounding like a shrink...
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I'm not voting for Ron Paul because it's not expressly prescribed in the Constitution.
Don't you ever feel frustration at finding that those you held in high esteem have less than exemplary records? I suppose I should find such things comforting, but this has been something I've struggled with since I went on a mission. I remember going on a mission expecting people to be engaged and focused on the work, only to find they were human beings who had all too many human tendencies.
It's the pharisee in me... I want to give it a nice flying roundhouse kick to the throat, but were I to abandon all my standards what would be left?
--Ray
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I'm not slow; I'm special. (Don't take it personally, everyone finds me offensive. Yet somehow I manage to live with myself.)
Well, one of the things I learned on my mission was that I am not perfect, far from it, and in spite of it, The Lord loves me. Since I know I'm not perfect, I don't let it bother me if others fail to show they are perfect, cuz I know The Lord loves them and their honest effort nonetheless. Just as I was deeply humbled and grateful to learn that the only one who judged me for my effort while a missionary was Him, so it is I don't have to carry the burden of judging anyone else for their effort (or seemingly lack thereof) for filling their respective callings.
Rather than focus on their failings and weaknesses now, I find it easier to be impressed with the good works and honest efforts others put into things notwithstanding the hinderances they may personally or institutionally face. I let their good example be what I focus on.
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It seems to me the only thing you've learned is that Caesar is a "salad dressing dude."
Why do you feel you would be abandoning your standards, Ray? Was the Lord lowering or abandoning his standards when he ate with sinners or protected the woman caught in adultery? He placed the worth of the individual higher than anything else.
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I'm not voting for Ron Paul because it's not expressly prescribed in the Constitution.
Ray, I'm the first counsellor in the Elder's quorum. Before that I was secretary. I used to get annoyed when the district leaders never returned my calls or didn't get the numbers on time. Then I would get annoyed when I would call an active elder for the fourth strait month in a row and he would say he did not hometeaching without even a tint or guilt or embarrassment in his voice. It really bothered me for a while especially when the same five or six people seemed to be the only ones who actually made a serious effort. Then I realized that maybe the Lord put me in that calling so I would see it from the perspective of Priesthood leadership and would try harder myself. Before I often didn't return the district leader or secretary's calls, not because I didn't do my hometeaching, but because I didn't care or see the importance of reporting numbers that went nowhere and meant nothing a few months later. Now I see that those folks are just trying to do their calling and how it all fits together. Now I am much better at returning calls and getting the information turned in on time.
I guess I would just say that maybe substitute your bitterness with an attitude of wanting to know why the Lord put you there and what he is trying to teach you. The elders that do not do their hometeaching will not start doing it unless they experience a mighty change of heart and there is little you can do to make that happen as an elder's quorum presidency. Some of our worst hometeachers have been and continue to be returned missionaries. The better ones seem to be the converts. Go figure?!?!/
I think it's because I have a tendency to be lazy when others are lazy. It's a character flaw in myself. If i think no one cares about something, I don't care about it either. I lack a lot of the basic fundamental leadership abilities that a lot of good folk have--or so it appears they have--naturally.
I find myself frustrated with the illogic of one who professes a belief in the church and in Christ and yet doesn't do some of the basic parts of it... I dunno... perhaps because I put such a high expectation on myself.
I wonder (perhaps in a misguided attempt to have empathy for them, or maybe to keep from making a bad judgment of them) if there's something wrong with me... deep down... like do these programs matter? I wonder should I be a bit more relaxed about my own personal standards because apparently it doesn't bother other people to live lesser standards.
At some basic level I know there's a serious problem in my thinking (which is part of the reason i bring it up, because I want to work it out). I have a hard time serving others the right way according to my impressions, and not being influenced by the character and tendencies of others.
I suppose one way to fortify against too much wishywashyness, or flipfloppishness is to sharpen my testimony on the Word of God, as revealed in scripture. Something I could be more dilligent at doing... perhaps I am finding that my laxed attitude there can no longer support the calling I've got now... You'd think this would be a big, "Duh."
--Ray
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I'm not slow; I'm special. (Don't take it personally, everyone finds me offensive. Yet somehow I manage to live with myself.)
All the comments are really appreciated, and Jase I am grateful for your thoughts. I agree there's a lot of that too... I really appreciate the thoughts expressed here.
--Ray
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I'm not slow; I'm special. (Don't take it personally, everyone finds me offensive. Yet somehow I manage to live with myself.)
no unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing... the truth of God will go forth till it has penetrated every website, sounded in every ear, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished and the great Jehovah shall say the work is done
I try to do my VT, but one of the girls is usually high when we go visit her, and has never invited us into her house, so it's a little weird.
Anyway. Here are my two cents:
First of all, we are given callings to grow. That is one of their main purposes, is to give us an opportunity to learn where we may not be able to learn in another situation, and whatever calling is given us, the Lord will provide the way that we may fulfill it if we just ask and try to live righteously.
Secondly, nobody's perfect. (Except Christ). I may have said this before, but I've heard this analogy about maturity. You start maturing from a child to a teenager when you realize that your parents aren't perfect and don't know it all. You start maturing from being a teenager to an adult when you realize that even though they aren't perfect, your parents know a whole lot more than you do and you certainly have a lot to learn from them. I've noticed this in my life...I mean, the year I surpassed my mother's mathematical intellect was the year that all of the problems with our relationship started because "she didn't know what I was going through". Now I'm finding that I can talk to her about lots of things, and it's really not as awkward as I always thought it'd be. Most of the problems were simply my perspective.
I know myself, when I came to Relief Society I thought that Visiting Teaching was just for the old ladies so that they could just laugh loudly the whole time. Then two girls just a little big older than I came to visit teach me, and I was like "oh, great, even they got cheesy!" But then they were so helpful in preparing me for college and just gave me so much support that I wasn't nearly as afraid anymore. So when I first got called as a visiting teacher in college, I worked hard to go, and I made some great friends who have stuck with me all throughout college, and I probably wouldn't have been brave enough to go talk to them otherwise. We also had a Visiting Teaching Conference where I learned what the real meaning of Visiting Teaching is. The Savior wants to reach out to everyone, and He does, through the Atonement, but he can't be physically there. President Hinckley would love to be able to come talk to all of the people so that he could really understand the problems of each and every person and help them, but he can't. Same thing with our Stake Presidents, and Bishops. That's why there is delegation. The church is like a tree, and every part is essential. That's why the Bishops extend callings (through inspiration, just as they were called) to Relief Society Presidents and EQ Presidents who assign callings out as Home and Visiting Teachers. It's really so that everyone can be taken care of and no one gets overlooked. Unfortunately, there are imperfect people in these callings, but it's really up to each of us to use this great opportunity to learn and grow. We are just human and forget.
That's why my latest theory on life is to remember. Remember how it feels to home/visit teach. I've never had a horrible experience, and always feel better that I've done it. It's just how when you go a few days without reading the scriptures and then you read them again it's so exciting and you can't believe how good it is and that you didn't read them the past few days (at least that's how I feel). We just have to remember to remember...
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Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.
— Oscar Wilde
